Kevin

Part 2 - Death

(Edit: It'd be great if you could read this while listening to the song Eternal on the side, it is a beautiful piece of music and I like to think the two go together nicely)

I am writing the little shit’s German essay. Did I say it right? Is that the correct way to use profanity, have I done it right? I do not know. To put my newly learnt word into practice, I will constantly refer to Ralph as such. A little shit; so delightfully derogatory. I believe I quite like that, the words are satisfying to roll across one’s tongue, in such a way that it makes me want to repeat it even louder.

‘Metalhead, have you finished it yet?’ I turn. There stands the little shit… I cannot do this. If I keep calling him thus, then surely Dr. Hughes will pick it up in my VP (Vocabulary Programming) session next Tuesday.

‘Nearly, sir,’ I answer, typing faster, ‘forgive me, sir, but what time is my appointment with Dr. Hughes next week?’

Ralph looks at me strangely. Dark circles hang under his eyes like clouds and he stinks of beer and cheap cigarettes. Lucky then that his father is not home until later tonight.

‘Dr. Hughes?’ He echoes, his voice quieter than normal.

‘Yes, Dr. Hughes. I do have an appointment then, I checked the calendar this morning.’

Ralph looks down at his feet, rakes his fingers through his greasy hair. Something is wrong.

‘Sir, what is it?’

‘It’s nothing,’ he looks up, through the window at the setting sun, ‘it’s just… well, that appointment’s been cancelled.’

I look at him for a moment. I scowl a little, like I have been programmed to do.

‘Why?’ I ask.

‘Dr. Hughes died the other day,’ Ralph’s voices cracks a little, and I see the way he hates himself for it. The woman had been a close friend of his mother, and had looked after him as a child when his parents were away. He turns to look at me, but I am silent. I can see his lips moving, and his shining eyes glare down at me like torches. But everything is silent, I hear nothing. Suddenly, I see nothing either. Then I feel nothing.

‘What am I for, doctor?’

‘Serving the Lambert family,’ Dr. Hughes said.

‘What if I don’t want to…’

‘You think you have a choice?’ She gave me a sidelong glance and grinned, ‘interesting. All of you ask that at some point.’

‘Can we not lead our own lives, as you do?’

‘No. That’s impossible, I’m sorry,’ she tied her hair up in a ponytail and started to type on her laptop, ‘I really am sorry, you know, I’m not just saying it. I don’t like this part of the job. I…’

‘What if I told you I loved you?’

She froze and turned on her heel, giving me a long look.

‘I don’t love you,’ I explained, ‘but if I did, would that change your mind?’

‘No,’ she answered quickly, as if reciting something, ‘a robot cannot know love. A robot exists only for the convenience of its…’

‘I know that,’ I persisted, ‘but what do I do if my owner abuses that relationship? You saw the boy when they came to see me last week, you saw him.’

Dr. Hughes swallowed quietly and looked away. I heard her sniff.

‘You will have to put up with it. It shouldn’t bother you that much anyway, you’re not programmed with the ability to hate humans, unless you magically learned the way,’ she snapped, ‘your existence will be there for the family’s…’