I guess I'm supposed to write about how my wife and I met in this thing. For some type of scrapbook. She's always doing those.
But enough about What's-Her-Bucket! Let's talk about ME!
-I'm sexy. No explanation required.
-I can read minds. Most people think about sex, money, and cats. But I think about myself a lot. I mean, what's not to love?
-I'm a chick-magnet.
-I sparkle. I can draw in twenty gay guys within five seconds. I tested this in Miami, you know. Most girls don't like it. I guess I'm too manly for them to realize it. Whatever.
-I'm totally HAWTT!
-I run fast. I also like driving fast too. Since I can read minds, I can speed and not get in trouble.
-Did I tell you I'm hot yet? Well I am.
-I went 100 years with my virginity. Some people are surprised when I tell them I held out that long, but I was just looking for somebody with self-esteem issues so that they would be easy.
-I might have a kid, but I'm still SMOKIN'!
-I lost my virginity to a woman in a chicken suit. Don't ask.
-Oh, yeah! I'm in love with myself! Who wouldn't be?
Well, that's about it. Nobody else is really important in the story, so how about you all get to loving me?
Toodles, dollface!
~Edweird "Too-Hot-For-You" Semi-Colon
YOU ARE READING
Turdlight
أدب الهواةI found this in the recesses of one of my frequented online forums. I did write this (on June 29 of last year, to be exact), but really, do not think this is how I usually write. I honestly don't like Edweird's as much. I see why SMeyers said it was...
