Between Heaven and Hell (PA #2)

Chapter One

Willow, Present Day

If God works in mysterious ways, then Satan operates with full transparency. I swear, the Devil does not have a subtle bone in his body.

Or any bones at all. Do immortal beings have bones? I make a mental note to ask him when he's not being such a drama llama.

"Chill out, Dad! We're going to school, not the damn grave," Elizabeth forces out between clenched teeth.

The physical embodiment of Pride, Lucifer's youngest child—and my best and oldest friend—is more than over the walk down memory lane her father is putting us through.

If I thought he took the departure of his first child hard, it has nothing on the breakdown he's experiencing now. Who would've known that even the Devil isn't immune to empty nest syndrome?

"My babies!" Lucifer cries. He uses the already damp handkerchief clutched in his hand to wipe away his newest round of tears. I decide not to point out that I'm technically not his child. He's already emotional enough today.

Without an ounce of empathy, Elizabeth tells him, "Get ahold of yourself, man. This is just embarrassing."

I turn to her with both eyebrows raised. "You? Embarrassed? I didn't know you were capable of the feeling."

Fingertips pressed to her heart, Eli shakes her head. "Oh, no, I'm not embarrassed. But he definitely should be."

"Yeah," I agree. "He's sobbing pretty hard. Do you think he'd notice if we just left?"

Lucifer's crying abruptly stops. With his free hand, he points an accusing finger in my direction. "Don't you dare, Willow. You, either, Elizabeth. My heart couldn't possibly take you leaving before we finish going through these scrapbooks. We're only on year ten! We still have eight more years to go!"

Would humans fear the Devil if they knew that he painstakingly collects photos and mementos of his children's lives to place in scrapbooks? He has a craft room, for Hell's sake. There's nothing remotely scary about that.

Lilith snaps the scrapbook she's holding closed and sets it on the seat cushion beside her. Placing a hand on her husband's back, she pats him in a characteristic show of comfort and reassurance.

"There, there," Lilith coos. "They'll be back sooner than you can torture a thousand men."

Lucifer's black eyes flicker repeatedly at that. "But I can do that in no time at all."

Lilith's red-painted lips part to reveal a stunning smile. "Precisely, my love."

Lucifer matches her grin, and what follows is an intense amount of eye contact between the two. When it starts to turn sexual, Elizabeth grabs my arm and pulls me out of the room.

"Oh, Satan, that shit's gross. I think I'm gonna hurl," Eli declares as soon as we're in the hallway.

I pry Eli's manicured fingers off of my skin and send her a glare for her manhandling.

"Ow," I tell her, which only gets me an eye roll in response.

"Say what you will about your parents' sex life," I continue. "But at least it gives us escape opportunities like this."

Elizabeth holds up her hand. "I'm going to stop you right there."

"I already stopped talking?" I say, although it comes out as more of a question.

Ignoring my interjection, Elizabeth keeps going. "First of all, I never want to hear the words 'parents' and 'sex' in the same sentence again. You know it makes me nauseous."