Alfred slouched languidly against the wall, glimpsing his watch once or twice with a disgruntled pout. He tore open another packet of chocolate crunch and started munching on it after having practically stuffed his stomach with three cheese burgers. Right, patience isn't really his vocabulary. He had been counting how long he had arrived, like, fifteen minutes or so. Well, anything that required him to stay still at a particular spot for more than five minutes was sufficient to exhaust his attention span. The blond could get extremely restless and croaky when nothing much in the surrounding piqued his interest.
H
e gazed up at the screen again and checked the flight schedule. He couldn't have mistaken the time, could he? He had double-checked specifically yesterday just to ensure that nothing would possibly go wrong for this significant meeting (Yes, he had screwed up a couple of times before or more but no, he would never concede it was his fault). His boss had been nagging him incessantly about this rendezvous which, if ending up successful, would probably assist them a lot.
Alfred wasn't the kind to show that he was in trouble; in grave financial trouble to be more precise. He is the HERO after all. And a hero doesn't need anyone's help! But oh well, let's get down to reality. He was penniless; almost. His treasury was seriously deficit after all the unnecessary expenditure dedicated to pointless wars with the Middle East countries. And his economy was declining. The stock market was no longer a pleasant sight these days.
He watched people cram through the gate with baggy luggage. The plane had apparently landed but it took quite a series of procedures for immigrants to check out. His eyes roamed over the crowd immediately, searching desperately for a particular Asian. He had already braced himself for hearing China rant endlessly about how bothersome the journey was and how the flight food didn't live up to his expectations or how the plane America had booked wasn't deluxe and comfortable enough or just how jet-lagged he was.
Yao isn't a bad person, indeed, but can be quite relentless and conceited sometimes. People actually compare Alfred to him a lot, stating how they actually possess similar traits of bossing people around, taking pride in deeds and being the ultimate superpower. In his opinion though, Yao is a pretty easy-going person if one knows him well. He is prone to flattery, succulent cuisine and any talks that concern potential trades or business. Even though the ancient nation could be quite grumpy and demanding at times, he is nothing near as aggressive and malicious as that damn Russian.
The crowd of people soon disappeared, leaving the gate almost empty again. Alfred was starting to get anxious. He checked the clock again. Sure, it read 13:30. Yao should be appearing in any second! He might be old but he was nowhere near clumsy and slow. He should be able to handle everything.
Alfred was about to take out his cell phone and tried ringing his "friend" up when an Asian girl with an awfully familiar appearance strode out of the gate. Those high heels failed to mask her petite, and obviously much smaller body compared to the rest of the local citizens. Her hair was pitch-black, sleek and neatly tied into two side buns, both clipped by two conspicuous peony accessories. One could tell she was slightly struggling with her bulky luggage as she seemed to stumble a few times dragging it.
"Aiyah!" She sighed in frustration, glaring at her burdensome baggage indignantly.
"Woah, hey gal, let me help you." Alfred dashed towards the lady with a goofy grin and offered her his hand (lucky Arthur had taught him some basic skills of being a peripheral gentleman).
"America?" The girl spun around and frowned. Alfred got a better close-up view of her this time. He forgot when they last met but it sure as hell had been ages since they came face-to-face this close. In his memory, she had always been quite gorgeous and dazzling, but pitifully small and delicate. She was always behind Yao's back, sometimes tagging along with him in rare meetings.
Now in case you wonder, this girl is Wang Chun Yan, basically the female version of Wang Yao. All nations have representatives for both genders. While the male personification reflects the nation's landmass, population and external power, the female counterpart manifests the nation's cultures, customs and integrity.
Alfred had heard that Chun Yan was a very conservative, strong-willed woman who appeared cheerful most of the times but cranky when it came to drastic changes. She loathed revolutions and was one of the few to reject forcibly the invasion of Western values in the 18th century. Her twin brother, however, had been convincing her to embrace a more open mind to things and gradually accept foreign cultures that could benefit their economy.
"Oh hi, China. What's up?" Alfred chuckled nervously. He didn't really expect to meet Chun Yan instead of Yao. In fact, he was SUPPOSED to meet Yao. Why would they send her instead?
"Well, can't you see?" Chun Yan rolled her eyes. "I can't get this damn suitcase move smoothly for once!"
Alfred looked over the baggage and concluded that it was clearly overweight. He gripped the handle and pulled. Well, with his incredible strength, he somehow managed to break the wheels.
"Oh no! You broke my suitcase!" Chun Yan yelled.
Shit. Was the only word that crossed Alfred's mind.
Way to go, America.
It was hard enough to be a satisfactory host. To him, the Chinese were always unexceptionally nit-picky. It was even harder to serve a girl as annoying and loud as him.
"Easy there, girl. We'll fix this when we get back to my place, okay?"
Chun Yan shot him a disapproving glance and folded her arms in exasperation.
Great. What kind of shit did Yao get me into this time?
Alfred mentally cussed and lifted the entire luggage with his bare arms.
"You have to pay for this, America! I SWEAR!" Chun Yan snorted and followed Alfred begrudgingly.
"Come on, it's not a big deal. Your suitcase is probably made in China. That's why it got busted. Anyway, we've got a lot here so you can just randomly grab one."
"What did you just say?"
"Like I'm saying, are you hungry or anything? Do you need some snack?"
"Not chocolate crunch, thanks." The girl grimaced. "You still have pieces around your mouth, idiot."
"Oh crap."
THUD!
Alfred dropped the luggage to wipe his mouth.
"ALFRED! MY LUGGAGE!" The Asian shrieked as the suitcase snapped open. Clothes and accessories immediately sprayed across the floor messily.
"Oops, sorry!" Alfred shrugged it off with a guilty laugh and started picking everything up. The commotion had attracted a few bystanders to snicker at them but the most embarrassing scene was when the blond accidentally grabbed onto one of Chun Yan's undergarments.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, ALFRED JONES!" Chun Yan bawled and shoved the American out of her way. She swiftly snatched the red bra from his hands and stuffed it into her suitcase.
"Nice color." Alfred blinked jokingly.
"Ouch!" He whined as he felt a sharp pinch on his arm.
"One more word and you're drop-dead, Alfred." Chun Yan warned and stood up abruptly only to trip over a stuffed panda that got flung out of the suitcase. The girl tumbled, spraining her ankle in the process.
"Aiyah!"
Fortunately, the blond caught her just in time. Still, the heel broke.
"Wow, your shoes are made in China too?"
"SHUT UP!"
"Shouldn't have worn high heels if you can't handle them properly." Alfred beamed. "Can you even walk now? Guess I'll have to get you a trolley?"
"Don't you dare."
Alfred laughed, enjoying every bit of the teasing.
Serves her right, haha.
And it was time to show off.
"Wait, what the heck do you think you're doing!" Chun Yan bellowed as the blond scooped her up, slung her over his shoulder briskly and picked up her suitcase.
"Put me down, idiot!"
"No worries. We're almost there."
"Put me down!" Chun Yan continued to protest but Alfred ignored her. It wasted his time to even initiate an argument with this pampered oriental "princess". They reached his car in no time, since he had parked it right outside the exit. He opened the door and tossed her in, slamming the door just in time to shut her mouth. He threw her suitcase into the backseat roughly.
"Don't just fling my stuff like that! I've got fragile things in there aru!" Chun Yan snapped. Alfred ignored that as well and hopped into the driving seat.
"Okay, ready to go?"
Not waiting for a reply, he started the engine and drove off in a flash.
"I haven't even put on my seatbelt!" Chun Yan grumbled.
"Nobody ain't got time for that, lol."
"You're horrible, America."
Ignoring the remark, Alfred asked. "So, anything you wish to buy? We can drop by the supermarket."
"I thought you've prepared everything for my visit."
"Oh right. I've got everything at home! We'll start off with some lunch first."
"Great. The food they served on the plane is obnoxious." Chun Yan rested against the seat with a scowl. "Yucky! I can't believe they deem it eatable!"
"Yeah." Alfred echoed absent-mindedly.
"So, what's the plan for today?" Chun Yan asked, fixing her slightly tousled bangs.
"Plan?"
"Don't tell me you haven't planned anything for my visit."
"Actually, I didn't expect to meet you." Alfred confessed. "I thought it would be Yao. We talked about the meeting a few times on the phone."
"His schedule is fully occupied recently so he can't make it this time. I will substitute him for the time being." Chun Yan explained.
"Oh…" Alfred frowned, already able to infer what type "business" Yao was occupied with. He was probably spending time with Russia again.
"You sound fairly disappointed, America. I hope you're not cursing at me in your mind 'cause I think I can hear you."
"What? No! What gives you that idea? I'm surprised, that's all!" Alfred yelped. "It's just that we haven't seen each other for a long, long time. Hope you won't feel awkward about your stay here. Just make yourself at home, okay?"
"Right, how's it going lately, Alfred?"
Alfred cocked his brows, somewhat stunned that Chun Yan would bother to inquire about his well-being. Perhaps this woman was not as inconsiderate and spoil-rotten as she appeared.
"Um…pretty well, I guess?" Alfred smiled vaguely and gazed ahead. Just then, a thought flashed across his mind. He tensed up in panic.
Oh no, he totally hadn't seen it coming! He had thought it would be Yao who visited so he had invited (read: begged) Arthur to come and make some decent tea that might possibly appeal to the Chinese. He didn't expect it would be Chun Yan! From what he could crudely remember, this woman couldn't tolerate Arthur. In fact, they were sworn enemies after their conflict almost a century ago.
"Hey, how about we drop by a Chinese restaurant to have lunch first?" Alfred asked nervously, trying to buy some time to call back home and dismiss Arthur. "We've got pretty good-"
"No." Was the firm answer. "Straight to your place, please. I'm exhausted. If possible, let me take a nap first before we get down to our business talk."
Shit. Shit. Shit.
"But you know, I still think we should like-"
"I said 'NO'! For my record, you've never brought Yao to any decent Chinese restaurants every time he came here! I don't want to try any awful dishes you create with my culture. It's infuriating."
Damn it. She's even more explicit than Yao.
"Fine." Alfred grunted and focused on the road ahead.
"Sorry, I didn't really mean to lash out at you but I'm really tired. I get very irritable when I don't have my beauty sleep. So, just take me to your place. No need for anything else. I've brought everything I need for the next few days."
"No problems. Just tell me if you need anything."
"Thank you."
The ride was tedious and silent. They didn't chat much afterwards. Although Alfred had to admit he was slightly peeved by her boldness, he had to agree with her at some point. It seemed that he had disappointed Yao too many times during his previous visits. He had specifically pondered hard while planning for his stay this time in order to accentuate his sincerity and of course awesomeness as a host. But well…things just loved to go astray for him.
By the time they arrived at his mansion, Chun Yan had dozed off. Alfred wondered if he ought to wake her up. She seemed to be the kind to go fanatic readily if disturbed.
Geez. This is even more challenging than dealing with Yao.
"Ahem." He coughed.
Those copper eyes snapped open and gazed through him. He leapt back a bit, almost imagining himself to be smacked.
"We've arrived already?" Luckily, the girl only straightened up her back and scanned around the surrounding curiously.
"Yeah."
"Oh, okay." Chun Yan nodded and was about to open the door when Alfred interrupted her.
"Wait, I'll get that for ya." Alfred offered and hopped out of his car. He darted to the other side and opened the door for his guest.
"I'm not flattered, just so you know. I'm not as simple-minded as Yao either." Chun Yan commented and stepped out gracefully.
"Heheh. Let's go in first, shall we?" Alfred held out his hand but was snubbed by the Asian.
Chun Yan strutted past the American and headed directly towards the door. As if her arrival had been foreseen, the door opened automatically to reveal a butler and a couple of maids greeting eagerly at her.
What captured her attention though was the carpet below that read "光臨歡迎". The handwritings were awful imitations of Chinese characters, not to mention those words were reversed in order.
"What is this?"
"You can't read it?" Alfred gasped.
"No, this looks like graffiti. Are you kidding me?"
"What? Hell no! We genuinely welcome you here!"
"This is traditional Chinese writing. And you've got the word order wrong too! But anyway, good try, America." Chun Yan rolled her eyes and crossed over the carpet with little ado, leaving the blond severely defeated behind. She took off her wrecked shoes and stepped into one of the slippers they had prepared for her.
"Now, where should I go?"
"This way, Miss." A maid bowed courteously and directed her into the dining room. What awaited her there though was pretty unsightly. She almost puked at the horrendous odor.
"What's the matter?" Alfred caught up with her, almost bewildered when he saw the hideous scene. The table was flooded with plates of burned food threatening to poison them. The only thing that looked normal was the tea.
"What the hell is this?" Alfred cried, turning to one of the maids. The maid only shrugged and pointed to the British man sitting at one end of the table, sipping his favourite Earl Grey tea.
"Arthur!"
"Hello, Alfred. I've cooked some-" Arthur paused as soon as he spotted the scowling lady accompanying the American. He stood up instantly, dropping his tea cup which soon spilled the tea all over the table cloth.
"What are you doing here?" Both Arthur and Chun Yan screeched at the same time, with menace, of course.
"Alfred, explain this. I thought Yao was coming."
"Alfred, why is the opium bastard here? Are you trying to piss me off?"
"Woah, calm down, dudes! Let me-"
"And with this disgusting food you've made, are you trying to poison us all?"
"WHAT? YOU BLOODY WANKER, THESE STUFFS AREN'T MADE FOR YOU!" Arthur howled. "And I FORBID you to call it disgusting!"
"Disgusting! Disgusting! Disgusting!" Chun Yan shrieked.
The British stomped over and clutched her wrist. "I DEMAND you to apologise at this instant!"
"OR WHAT?"
"You-"
"Guys, stop yelling at my house! If you're going to bicker, do it somewhere else!" Alfred squealed, pulling the two apart. "Arthur, I only asked you to prepare tea. I didn't ask you to cook- hey hold on a second, can you smell something burning?"
Just then, the kitchen exploded with an ear-splitting rumble. The three nations stared hollowly as bits and pieces flew out and scattered everywhere.
"I think I've forgotten about the scones." Arthur said calmly, rather over calmly.
Chun Yan burst into laughter. "There goes your shitty kitchen, America! The result of inviting the worst chef in the world to your house!"
"Hey, are you implying something?" Arthur gritted his teeth.
"Oh, aren't you smart enough to decode that, Mr. Gentleman?" Chun Yan mocked.
"You ungrateful bitch!" Arthur hollered, refraining from slapping the woman right across the face though he pretty much wanted to do it. (Be a gentleman, Arthur! Get a grip!) "I shouldn't have returned Hong Kong to you in the first place! If it wasn't for Yao, I wouldn't have agreed to hand over the custody, damn you!"
"HONG KONG IS MINE! You have no right whatsoever to claim sovereignty over even a strand of his hair, you bastard! Go fuck yourself!"
"HE IS MY SON TOO! Just so you know, he's got my blood and brows! He looks nothing like you! I'm sure everyone thinks so!"
"What? How dare you-"
"Guys! SHUT UP OKAY?" Alfred shouted. "I'm going deaf! My kitchen's just got busted!"
"Well, you never use it anyway." Arthur remarked sarcastically. "And it's probably made in China."
"But you just blew off my kitchen, Artie!"
"May I remind you, you're the one asking for my favor, America."
"I asked you to make tea not FOOD!"
"And I did make tea."
"Don't even expect me to drink that kind of shit." Chun Yan grimaced. "Anything made by him is sure to suck like hell."
"Say it again, bitch!" Arthur yapped.
"And what're you going to do?"
"Geez, shut the fuck up! Aren't you two, like, divorced for decades already?" Alfred growled. "For once, stop arguing every time you bump into each other!"
"You're one to say!" Both of them retorted.
"Okay, fine, my bad. Now if you please, go home, Artie. Chun Yan is my guest. She's here to replace Yao because he's busy. I'm sorry to have troubled you."
The two nations seemed to calm down a bit, both thunderstruck by the fact that Alfred knew how to apologize.
"I'll make it up to you later, bud." Alfred patted Arthur on the back and winked, gesturing for him to leave the house.
Reluctantly, Arthur complied, not before looking daggers at his ex-wife.
"I hope you trample on some poop." Chun Yan taunted.
"I swear you won't get away next time, lady!" Arthur threatened. "Curse you."
"Let's just hope you won't mess up your next magic tricks and accidentally turn yourself into a rat."
"I'll turn you into a cockroach! Just you watch!"
"Artie! Get out of my house!" Alfred snarled.
"And I'll turn you into-"
Alfred slammed the door on Arthur's face and sighed.
"Well, I'm very discontented with your choice of company, Mr. America." Chun Yan stated, crossing her arms solemnly. "How could you let me confront my ex-partner? Did you do this on purpose? To embarrass me?"
"What? No!" Alfred protested. "Like I said, I only asked him to make some tea. You know Yao likes tea. Well, you like tea too, don't you? I don't know how to make proper tea so yea…I thought it would be Yao visiting. He gets along with Arthur just fine. Well, just. I didn't know it would be you, okay? No offense taken, please."
"Okay." Chun Yan muttered. "And the food? I suppose you aren't going to serve me the junk products of that bastard's cooking experiment?"
"No! Absolutely not!" Alfred cried and quickly ordered some of his maids to clear the mess in the dining room. "Let's order pizza, okay?"
"Ugh, guess it's still better than nothing." Chun Yan croaked and settled herself at the table.
Alfred spared no time to order as many take-away as he could. Pizza. Fries. Burgers. Salad. Noodles. Fried Rice. Whatever. As the two waited for their meal, they sat opposite each other in serenity, with Alfred trying to figure out how to amend things he had screwed up so far. Curiosity got better of him though. He knew he was in no place to ask about Chun Yan's private life but well, he was always presumptuous anyway. She should have gotten accustomed to his impulsiveness.
"You seem to hate Artie a lot, haha." He tried to bring up the topic as casually as possible, though Chun Yan was sensitive enough to notice his intention.
"What, poking your nose into someone else's business again?"
"Huh? Haha, I'm just curious!"
"Curiosity kills, America." Chun Yan mumbled, squinting at the blond suspiciously.
"I won't invite him again while you're here. Don't worry, haha!" Alfred averted his gaze.
Why was he fidgeting so much? Damn! She might be older and more experienced but that didn't mean she was any more authoritative! He is the hero, man!
"Well, since you asked, and since it's been quite a long time, I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you." Chun Yan shrugged. "He is OK as a nation but HORRIBLE as a man. He's by far the most irresponsible, and atrocious man I've ever met. I couldn't even remember why I fell in love with him once. But well, that was something that happened a century ago. You were probably still a teen. Wait, you're still a teen, right? I mean you're so young and immature! I should've just called you young boy."
"Hey! I might be just around three hundred years old but don't think any less of me! I'm old enough to be the hero of the world!"
"Yeah, I'm really envious, America." Chun Yan murmured and smiled down at her hands.
"Huh?"
"You're young and energetic, very ambitious too. Which I think is a good thing. At least you never hesitate to strive for excellence. I appreciate that part of yours. Yao…well…my other half used to be quite laid-back. That's why he got picked on a lot before. It's only recently that he's started pouring his entire mind to accomplishing something great. I always think your spirit is what attracts everyone around you. No wonder he doted on you a lot."
"Who?"
"Arthur." Chun Yan hummed. Her smile faded. "When we first got together, he always mentioned you and Amelia; how you two were his pride and treasure. He wouldn't stop bragging about you. I even got pretty jealous to be honest. But well, that's in the past. At least, we know it didn't work between us. It was a tragedy, really. And Hong Kong was just an accident. But he's also the reason that keeps us going against each other. I won't let him have Hong Kong back. He's spent enough time with him already."
"That sucks, man. I always think he should treat you better."
"I don't assume you would like to treat your ex that well either, eh?" Chun Yan quipped, immediately propelling the blond to think of his last girlfriend which miserably was actually Anya Braginski.
They didn't make it through the cold war.
"Seems like the food's here, yo!" Alfred exclaimed as the door bell rang.
The servants brought in the food he had ordered, laying everything carefully on the table.
"Well, eat as much as you like! If it's still not enough, we can get some more!" Alfred whooped, already grabbing a chicken leg and a hamburger.
"Um…okay?" Chun Yan frowned at all the junk food before her, not really wishing to risk her health but her stomach was growling. Tentatively, she chose the most healthy-looking ones- a bowl of fruit salad and some vegetable soup.
"Thanks, Alfred." Chun Yan nodded.
"No problems! You're the guest!"
"I mean, thanks for listening." The Asian clarified.
"Um…yeah. Sure." Alfred tittered, tearing a slice of pizza before gobbling it up in one go.
After the meal, Alfred attempted to bring up the main topic of their discussion but to no avail. Chun Yan stood up from the table and yawned.
"Wait, you haven't eaten much. Are you sure it's enough?"
"Last time I visited Australia, they kept serving me fish and chips and I gained ten pounds after that."
"Really? BUT YOU LOOK THIN! I mean, slender!"
"I'm tired. I'll take a nap first, if you'd excuse me."
"Um…okay…I'll lead you to your room!" Alfred stood up and ushered the Asian out of the dining room, leading her upstairs.
"By the way, where's my broken suitcase?"
"I've got my maids fixing it. No worries, Yan! Now let me show you your room."
The blond had his servants re-decorate the guest room deliberately to resonate with Yao's liking. He just hoped Chun Yan would love the same thing.
"Oh my God! HELLO KITTY!" The girl screeched in ecstasy as soon as her eyes were met with a striking pink. She scampered towards the bed and hugged the stuffed animals placed in advance near the window.
"I love teddy bears!" She grinned widely. "Oh, you've got me an Elsa Plushie too! How thoughtful! Now I can sleep in peace."
"Yea, I thought you would like them." Alfred heaved a sigh of relief. He was lucky that Chun Yan was in some way similar to Yao. Now he was picking up the skill to please her.
"Thanks! I love this room very much! It's very adorable and well-adorned! See ya later in the evening, Alfred!" Chun Yan beamed excitedly and chucked away her slippers. She crawled into the duvet, not caring to let her hair down. She took a stuffed panda in one hand and a Hello Kitty plushie in another before she lulled herself to sleep.
"Sweet dreams." Alfred muttered before closing the door lightly. Once he stepped back into the hallway, his phone rang.
"Yo, what's up, boss?"
From the other end came his boss' voice urgently checking if everything was alright.
"Good grief, she's just settled down. Cut me some slack, dude! I want to take a nap too!"
Alfred flinched as his boss yelled through the phone asking him to take the matter seriously since whether or not they got "donations" depended on his performance. If China was satisfied with this diplomatic bonding, they would probably get more "donations".
"Okay, dude! I'll try! By the way, it's Chun Yan who visited. Ya know, the female personification of China? Yao's currently away, probably hanging out with that commie jerk."
A sigh wafted out of the phone receiver, followed by a grunt.
"Fine, fine, I'll make sure she enjoys her time here. I've already planned out everything for the next few days! And yes, yes! I'll show her around in some special places, no worries! Can I go now?"
Alfred rolled his eyes and ended the call.
"Geez, what a pain." The blond murmured as he walked back to his room, probably going to take an afternoon siesta and think about what to do with dinner.
