You Make Me Better

These nights... [+Update]

[Three and a half years later...]
You don't know what time it is. The air rushed back into your lungs as you gasp and your eyes jar open. Your bedroom always has two fans on their maximum setting, yet it does not prevent your from waking up in a cold sweat. This is not the first time.

Your left arm finds and rightly grasps the side of your bed. You feel like you just came back to life. The worst part about nights like this, you can't speak. Hyperventilating, you try to ground yourself in reality. Alone, you are unsuccessful; but you are no longer alone.

Tears in her eye, Chaeyeon looks over you and pins you to the bed. "(Y/n), you're okay. It's alright, I'm here." She holds you close to her chest and you still can't find the words; you can barely find your breath. She repeats "I'm here, baby." In your ears. Finally you start to come back to it. Your arms are clamped around her midsection like a cat hanging on a tree over a dog. Chaeyeon keeps one arm draped over your back and brings the other hand up, running it through your hair.

Finally, you can breathe again.

"Chae-" tears choke your words. "I'm sorry Chaeyeon. Thank you for putting up with me. I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you so much baby."

After wiping her tears, Chaeyeon forces you to look her in the eyes. "You can't help it. We'll get through this together. I understand, baby, you know I do..." You lay your head back on her chest. She resumes caressing your head. You see the clock on the side table. It's 3:14 am. You turn your head back to Chaeyeon and focus on her. Her scent. Her warmth. Her voice. Her heartbeat. The feeling of her gentle hand on your head, adorned with that beautiful ring.

You bury your face back into Chaeyeon's collarbone and eventually fall back asleep.

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[UPDATE]
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In the past months I have struggled much with continuing to write. After the news of IZ*ONE's disbandment broke, however, something has been born within me. In a recent private mail Chaeyeon promised to keep communicating with the fans as long as she could and seek new methods when those she now uses fail her.

In light of these recent developments, I will try to be more intentional about writing this story. I began it with no clear idea of what I wanted to do, but now, as I hope this chapter has made clear, I have a story to tell.

Thank you to those of you who have read my writing and thank you to those who continue to do so.