Goodbye for good

-|3|-

"So Ben what are your plans for this year?" I asked as I dug into my chicken curry. "I'm hoping to do a tour around the UK seen as I've just got back from America, I'm also working on a new album fingers crossed it'll be done soon, what about you? What do you want to do this year?" He explained.

I thought for a second before replying, "be the best mother I can, her needs come before mine" I simply said with a sweet smile on the end. "Don't give us that crap, what do you actually want to do?" Tylar butted in.

"Well I would want to go to University and focus on my career but I can't see much chance of that happening anytime soon never mind this year" I sighed. "What Uni do you want to go to?" Ben asked looking up from his dish.

"I've been accepted to one, but, I can't go" I frowned. "New York?" Tylar said. I just slowly nodded my head. "And why can't you go?" She asked demanding an answer. "Michaels career has just started, we've got a wedding to plan, Jess is a baby I can't just up and leave to New York to follow my dreams, I have a family now" I leant back in my chair and slammed my cutlery down.

I'm sick of everyone lecturing me about New York. They don't understand, I have a daughter now.

"Yes a family that will do fine without you for a few months, Michael is allowed to follow his dreams why can't you? Why don't you go to New York for a week or so just for a trial, if you really can't handle being that far from Jess and Mike then come back and I'll stop nagging you about it, but if you like it then go, follow your dreams" Tylar sent me a reassuring smile.

Maybe she was right. I could at least try it out. After all I do need to think about myself at times. I can leave Jess with Mike for a week, maybe it could work. Just before I could reply Jessica started crying, "i best change her before we go home" I sighed getting up and taking her out of her pram and grabbing her changing bag.

I came out of the changing room and bumped into a tall man, I looked up to apologise. "Sorry I was-" my eyes met the familiar eyes I once fell in love with. The same devilish smile I hated grew on his lips. "Hello Mads" the voice I dreaded to hear rung through my ears. Niall.

"Hi, Niall" I said looking away from his eyes and avoiding any eye contact. "Who's this?" He asked. "Who's who?" I replied dumbly, obviously he was referring to the baby in your arms. "That" he pointed to the baby in my arms. "Ohh right, yeah, this is my daughter, Jessica" I stuttered nervously.

"Oh" he said nearly at a whisper. I could see the happiness in his eyes change to anger at the mention of daughter. "She's beautiful" he mumbled. "Thank you, I've got to go" I said going to rush off before he stopped me. "No, wait" he called me back.

I spun on my heals to face him. His anger was now replaced with sorry and sadness. "Listen Mads, I'm sorry for what I did" he looked down, now him being the one avoiding eye contact. "It's okay" I hushed. "No, no it's not okay, what I did wasn't right, it'll never be right" he admitted.

"Listen, I wanna catch up sometime? So I can just show you I've changed" he said pleadingly. "I'm not sure, I've moved on" I said upsettingly. "I know, but let me just prove to you I've changed, please, I beg" he begged me drawing closer. "Okay" I agreed just wanting this conversation to end. "Here's my number, text me" he gave me a slip of paper and rushed off.

What have I just agreed to? Maybe he has changed though, the least I could do is give him a second chance, right? Plus I love Michael and he knows that, so he won't try anything. Right?

"What took you so long?" Ben quizzed as I returned to the table. I smiled and ignored him. I placed Jessica in her pram and grabbed my coat. We all left the restaurant and headed home. "Bye beautiful" Tylar waved me off as I hopped out of the car with Jess.

"Michael?" I called out pushing the pram through the door, Buzz came running through barking. "Buzz get down" I hissed slightly pushing Buzz off the pram. I rolled the pram into the living room to see Michael fast to sleep on the sofa. I strolled over to him and kissed his head.

"Michael" I whispered shaking him, slightly. He groaned and scrunched up his face. "Babe I'm home" I kissed his cheek. His beautiful brown eyes fluttered open, "hey beautiful" he yawned sitting up. He leant in and pecked my lips, "good day at work?" I asked moving his legs so I could sit down.

"It was great, how was your day?" He asked in reply, he laid his legs over my lap and held my hand. "It was good, I took Jessi to see Chelsea and Charlie then I we went for a meal with Ben and Tylar" I explained. Jess started crying so I got up and got her out. "Come in pass her to daddy" Michael put out his arms for her, I passed her to Michael then laid down with him.

I laid down at the side of him while Jess laid on his chest. "Michael" I said nearly at a whisper. "Yes babe" he placed his hand on my head and started to play with my hair. "Well, you know as I wanted to go to University?" I placed my head on his chest right next to Jessi'. "Yeah" he mumbled still playing with my hair.

"You know how badly I want to go, well not so long ago I got accepted into my dream one, the only one I really wanted to go to. But it's in New York. I was talking to Tylar about it and he came up with a great idea, I can go to the University for a week or just a few days, just to see if I like it, while I'm gone my mum can look after Jessica so you don't have time off work. What do you think" I breathed heavily after explaining.

"I think it's a great idea, I will support you through it all" Michael said after a very long pause. "I'll get in touch with them tomorrow" I smiled to myself.

Maybe this is where my life falls into place. Where it all starts going perfect.