Cody

Terra Firma

There are two main schools of thought regarding Alphahood: development and destruction. Each Alpha naturally gravitates to one of those two paradigms. Personally, I tend to try and develop my subs/fags, and while there can be some overlap, that's the style of Alphahood that feels natural to me. There's a lot that comes with being an Alpha. There's the obvious perks (sex, service, adoration), but there's also the added responsibility when you're a developer. When someone submits to you, they are trusting that you will help them grow and improve. They are trusting that you will not take advantage of them beyond comfortable limits. And sometimes, they are trusting that you will be there no matter what. Last night, I was my fag's terra firma.

I was horny; couldn't sleep. I texted Cody three simple words: "I need head". Ten minutes went by without a response. This was out of character for him because he would always message me back, even if he was busy, to let me know his availability.

I texted him again and waited. Five minutes later, he messaged me back to say he would be over in 10 minutes. I realized that this would be 30 mins later than what I originally wanted, but it was better than nothing.

When he knocked on my door, I opened it and could see that his eyes were red and puffy. He came in, went to my living room, and dropped to his knees as he had been trained without addressing something out of the norm. I walked to him, stood him up, and brought him to the couch to sit beside me, asking him what was going on. He said he didn't want to bother me with anything and was sorry he had made me wait so long.

I put my hand to the side of his face and held it there, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Talk to me. What's going on?" I asked him. As horny as I had been, all that went away when I saw how bothered he was. Cody belongs to me, and I don't like seeing my claims in harm.

He pressed his head into my hand and began to cry. He had received a phone call from his half-sister that their father had had a heart attack and was in the hospital. She didn't have any information for him other than that, but wanted him to know. Cody had never spoken to me about his family before, but when I pulled him close to me, he opened up and collapsed onto my chest with complete exhalation.

Cody grew up in Nevada. When he turned 16, his father rented him a cheap motel room and an even cheaper hooker in an attempt to set his son on the "straight" and narrow path. He hoped that if Cody fucked her, he wouldn't turn out to be a "fucking faggot". But he knew the truth. He had always known the truth. Cody's dad went back to the motel room the next morning to pick up his son. The hooker was leaving as his dad came in. Her parting words were that she that she was keeping the money despite Cody never get hard enough to fuck her. As the door slammed on her way out, his father's fist slammed into the side of Cody's face. It wasn't the first time his father beat him. I wasn't the last.

Two years later, Cody joined the military. He got out of Nevada. He got away from his father. He thought he would never have to go back. Cody would have considered himself completely cut off from that old life if it wasn't for his half-sister. As close as they were, when they talked, they would never discuss the father they shared. They only talked about their jobs, music, or guys they were seeing. He felt bad for leaving her behind in that town, but she understood. It helped that not only did she live with her mother and not with their father, but also that it was her idea for him to enlist. The military took Cody away from Nevada, sent him around the world, and now it had brought him to me.

As we talked, he admitted that he felt ashamed and angry, not because he was crying, but because of whom he was crying for. Tears for a man who had beaten him emotionally and physically for years, had never accepted him, and had never shown him any affection or kindness. Tears for a man who missed out on an opportunity to know someone loyal, committed, and caring.

As I listened to Cody, I felt rage surge inside me. Cody is a faggot, but he's my faggot. No child deserves growing up with that sort of a parent. I could see why Cody gravitated towards strong men; his search for a true father-figure. I wondered if this rooted desire was common among fags and subs. Something to explore for another time. Last night was not the time to probe his psyche. It was time to simply listen.

And so I listened. Once the pent up cacophony in his well ran dry, I led him to the bedroom, we stripped the remainder of our clothes, and we got in bed together. We spooned and I held him close. I could feel as his body tried to relax, but then it would tremble from the emotional tempest within. I pulled him to me, hoping he would find comfort in my arms. With every exhale, his spasms of emotional dissonance became less intense than the previous surge until he eventually was able to fall asleep.

Being an Alpha isn't only about being a Dom in the bedroom. Sometimes, it's about being the person others look to when they are incapable of fending for themselves. Sometimes, it's about being the dam when life tries to flood the fields that others tend. And sometimes, it's about being the constant for a scared faggot who just needed to be held and made to feel safe. It's about being their terra firma.