Lost Child

"Heart On Ice"

Intro

 Growing up a young black girl was already hard enough but add on a drunken family plus drug addicts with a strung out mother . You can fill in the blanks. At 9 years old a man who as supposed to be family violated me . At 9 years of age we don't even understand what's between our  legs , your p-ssy does not even get wet yet a man found it okay to lick and touch me as long as it didn't show.  As i pushed away fought and attempted tn yell but couldn't . The fear confusion and distaste had me choked up barely breathing . Staring into the TV but not seeing a thing just trying to ignore the wet slimy cold clammy feeling between my legs . I didn't getbwhat was happening but k knew it didn't feel right . "

damn you sweet"       "i wont put it in "        "it will feel good"

Words drifting in my mind but so detached i couldn't see it was him speaking to me. Yeah can you believe the bastard ! His sad ass attempt to relax the child he had just destroyed 

When reality settled back in my body was being lifted and i fought , i kicked , i scratched and punched but i was still to afraid to scream. He dropped me stepped back went into his pocket and pulled a wad of money out. He came near me and scooted as far back as the walls allowed . He put the cash under my pillow walked out and closed the door. I sat still waiting , i stayed like that  for a half hour when i was sure he wasn't coming back i ran full speed to my older sisters room and laid in bed with her . After that night my sister started have me "hood lock" my door and sleep with a knife. She would wait at my door till it was locked test it to make sure it didn't open then go in her room a do the same . I never really knew who he was or where he had came from but i never seen him after that day . That was 10 plus years ago thank god . If i seen him now i'd probably kill him