Survival

Pack

It was the next day and I looked horrible. The bruise on my cheek couldn't be hidden, not even with the best make up. Around my nose was red from the blood and my neck was bruised with finger marks. My scalp was on fire from Nick pulling it so much.

Not to mention how much pain I was in between my legs. Nick made sure I didn't enjoy myself. 

I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror for a while. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted somebody to save me. But I know that these thoughts were all a dream and the only person who can get me out of this is myself.

Nick got dressed and walked into the bathroom. He snaked his hands around my waist kissing my neck. I winced at the pain.

"Oh relax. You're a tough girl. You can handle it." He said annoyingly.

"Stay in the house today okay? Those look really bad." He nonchalantly stated.

"Okay" I whispered.

"Good girl. See how when you listen to me things seem to flow so smoothly? I love you" he kissed my forehead.

"Im flying to Atlanta tonight for an actual business trip. I want to work on our relationship baby. For you and for our son. Im going to call you from the hotel room." And with that he left, dragging his suitcase with him.

I cried and cried and cried. I think I cried all morning. I was in pain and emotionally scarred. I don't know how much longer I can do this.

Rio had been calling me all day. I ignored them. I wasn't in the mood. He couldn't see me like this and I was in no condition to be making runs.

My phone chimed and I quickly grabbed it. It was a text message from the person I had been avoiding.

'Yo where are you at? I been callin you all morning.'

I quickly locked my phone, trying to pretend that I didn't read it. I took a hot shower and slipped into some clothes. I went downstairs and began to clean up the kitchen. I skipped out on FaceTiming Cason and just decided to text Nancy to see how he was doing.

I sat on the couch watching tv when I heard a voice behind me.

"Why the fuck have you not been answering my calls?" Rio was pissed.

I didn't move, I couldn't look at him.

"I was busy today" I said lowly.

"Busy? Did I not make things clear for you the last time we talked?" He asked annoyingly.

I stayed silent.

"Bianca!" He yelled. I flinched. I couldn't take any more screaming.

"What!" I yelled back, turning my body to look at him.

His face fell. All the anger he had melted away in seconds. He scanned my face. Trying to make sense of it all. He slowly walked over to me. I looked down, ashamed.

His hand slowly reached out, touching my bruised cheek, then traveling to my busted lip and purple neck. He studied the madness that was inflicted on me. I let out a tear. I had never had anyone see me like this. This was raw. Unfiltered. My guard was down.

"I....I didn't know it was this bad mama" he said almost as if he was disappointed in himself.

I jerked out of his grasp.

"This has nothing to do with you. Now what do you want?" I asked. I was mad.

"So you want me to turn around and act like i didn't just see your beaten face? That's what you want me to do?" He got loud

"I want you to leave me alone for today. I can run for you tomorrow or something" I stated.

He stood there for a second. Almost deciding on what to say.

"Leave you alone? You asked for this. I told you this was gonna be hard and you told me you could do it. You don't get to wake up one day and say you're done. That's not how it works. Im tired of sugarcoating shit for you. You are a drug dealer. You move pills and you wash fake cash. You don't get to pick and choose what life you want to have each day." He stared into my soul. Mad and hurt.

"You know what, I don't need this from you. If you came here to bitch at me, then just get out" I spat.

"Pack your stuff." He stated.

"What?" I looked at him confused.

"Pack your things and the baby's. Now" he ordered.

"I don't know what you're getting at."

"I said pack. Either that or you stay here." He said.

I looked down. "I can't leave Chris. He will kill me"

"And he will kill you if you stay! Is that what you want?" He looked into my eyes searching for the answer.

I stayed silent, not moving.

"You know what Bianca, if you want to get beat up by him, that's your business. I still got a business to run and money to make. So by all means, stay here and get fucked up every night if ya want. Because you're right, it has nothing to do with me."

And with that he left. I was speechless. I was confused at his knight in shining armor behavior turning into the grinch. He was hot and cold. I stood there choking back sobs. I didn't know what to do.