To the One I Loved Before

Good evening my love. I hope you're doing alright. I miss you. I miss you so much. The pain of living without you, not being able to see you, talk to you, hear you, let alone touch you... it's killing me. Slowly. Not being able to hear the comfort of your voice, the soothing words you had said to me when I was feeling down, or the things you said to make me laugh because you had once told me that you loved the sound. My laugh was like music to your ears. Like music you said. Not being able to see your gorgeous features day and day again like I used to. Your eyes, which you claim to hate, are the most beautiful color. They way your goofy smile always made me want to smile too. I miss that feeling. It's been so long since I've smiled the way I did when I was with you. And your touch. Oh how I miss the warmth of your hand in mine. The feeling of your chest against my back when we cuddled together. I loved how your arms were wrapped so protectively around me. I felt safe and secure... You were my home, my light, and my world, but most of all. You were mine... Or so I thought. Sadly, things didn't turn out the way we thought they would. We fought, and I asked you about when you said,"Forever." You responded with, "Forever came too fast." So now I'm alone, cold and left in the dark. No signs of light, and no signs of hope. I have no home. People say home is where your heart is, but what if your heart lies with a person? And what happens when that person leaves? You're left with nothing but an empty feeling. You were my everything, and I gave absolutely everything to you. My love. My heart. My soul... And my innocence. Things I can never get back. You have someone new now. I'm angry because it's so soon after we fell apart. It's like you don't even care. It now feels like you might have never cared for me, even though I sacrificed so much to take care of you. I fought for you, I fought to keep you when others told me to give you up. I forgave you for your mistakes, and I lifted you up when you fell down, but that doesnt appear to be good enough. Was I not good enough? Some nights I cried thinking about this, wondering if my love would be enough to let you stay. To let you stay with me. Clearly it was not. I see that now. I do hope you and your partner are happy, and that they can make you happier than I did. But I still love you. I probably always will. Some little part of me will always be in love with you... and the dumb part is. I might still take you back, even if it's unhealthy for me. Be safe darling... I hope to see you in a better life.