To the One I Loved Before

Can't Let You Go

Fuck what I said last time. I don't want to do that... I can't do that... I'm forced to realize that I can never let you go. As much as I've thought about it. As much as probably should, I can never do it. I'll always go back to you. I have every time. I still think of you and it tears me apart knowing that you have her, but you still think of me now and then. Or so you've told me... I used to wear a promise ring. You wore one too, the one I gave you the night I spent at your house. You don't wear the ring anymore. Then why do I still wear mine? The night I spent with you was heaven. We hugged, Kissed, cuddled, and kept each other as close as we could... I gave myself to you that night, and I wouldn't want it to be anyone else but you. You became my everything. You absolutely consumed and captivated me. Something I was completely okay with. But then things happened and you assumed and forced our break up. But I just couldn't stay away so I weaseled my way around to find a way to talk to you and help you understand what actually happened... You apologized profusely for it and I told you it was okay. That you weren't able to get the whole story before my parents took my computer so you obviously took it the wrong way. Now we're here. You still claim to want something with me, but you promised yourself to Her... YOU PROMISED YOURSELF TO ME FIRST! I'm sorry... I can't help but get jealous... You told me that no matter what life we're in, you'd find your way to me. And I promised the same... This is an endless cycle but I still can't help it.  You have Her, and I know I'll never be able to call you mine again, but that won't stop me from wishing I could.  I wish I didn't only have memories. I still need you, and I can't let you go. Ever... Stay safe... and I hope that one day I can call you home again.