Sally Face Foolery

Up All Night

"I don't think I can sleep," Sal admitted quietly. Larry lay sprawled out next to him, the sheets tangled around his body. "Just try," he said, half asleep himself. He normally wouldn't come across so gruff, but Sal had been up all night already, keeping him up as well and he couldn't keep awake enough to coddle him. He did try to sleep, very hard.

He rolled over to the side, taking in deep breaths and letting them out slowly - something that never worked too well. "Larry," Sal said into the darkness. "Sleep," Larry replied. He didn't think Larry quite understood just why he stayed up. It wasn't really a choice, he couldn't keep his head from clouding with scary thoughts, and the complete darkness Larry kept his room in didn't quite help. He'd rather be with Larry than alone, but if he were in his own bed he knew Gizmo would come lay on his chest. And Sal would stare into his eyes, watching them dilate. Something he missed when he slept elsewhere.

  He tried hard to feel angry rather than scared, something that helped him feel a little more in control when he was kept awake by his thoughts at night. It didn't work so well. Larry began to snore as he fell into a deeper sleep next to him. Sal felt very alone now, and his stomach began to ache. He lazily reached over and pulled his mask off the floor - something to fidget with. He picked at the bottom of it with his nail, trying not to think about anything bad.

  He fell into a state of defeat as his eyes burned a little. He wanted to push Larry awake just to have someone to talk to, but knew it was better to let him sleep. Besides, he didn't want the other to be cross with him for waking him. And on top of it all he didn't find it very dignifying to wake someone with tears down his face.

He pressed the palm of his hand into his good eye, rubbing away tears and letting the mask drop down to the floor. "Fuck," he said in defeat. Outside the closed door, he could hear the tv playing. Someone must have left it on. He figured it might be better to have something to distract him. Besides, Larry and Lisa had cable.

Begrudgingly he sat himself up, having to untangle his foot from the sheets. He stood up, leaning over as his stomach churned. He let out a breath slowly, standing up fully. He left his mask on the floor as he headed for the door, the lock clicking quietly. He slipped out and stepped into the living room, head down and watching the carpet give under his feet. Only when he looked up a little did he see Lisa sitting on the couch in her housecoat, a fresh cup of tea in her hands. Quickly he turned back to Larry's room, but she'd already seen him.

   "Stop right there," she said gently. He did so, but did not turn back around. "Sally," she said, coaxing him to face her. He did not want to be seen without a mask. He felt very vulnerable. "Honey, come back over here," she said. Sal heard the click of her porcelain mug being set on the side table. He folded his arms, and turned around, not wanting to protest her.

     "Come sit. Come on," she said, placing a hand on the couch next to her. Sal's stomach tightened in a bit of pain. He stood unevenly on his feet as he began to take a step, slowly at first before coming over obediently. He sat down slowly. He felt he might be a little dissociated at this point, and didn't want her to think he was being rude by not speaking. Truthfully he just didn't know what to say. He always spoke to her to be polite but couldn't quite find the words to say anything.

   He faced her with his body but looked away, arms still folded over his aching stomach. He felt her place something in his lap; glancing down for a second it was a box of tissues. That woman had the eyes of a hawk- she'd already seen his tear stained face no matter how he'd try to hide it. "What's wrong Sally?" She said gently. He shrugged. "Dunno," he said lowly, trying not to let his voice quiver. "That's a fib," she said. He shrugged again, shaking his head.

    "What's wrong honey," she said again, slower and with more sweetness to her tone. He bit his bottom lip, lowering his head so his bangs hung over his eyes. "everything," he choked out. "Oh, I know it must feel that way," she said, her hand on his back now, stroking down slowly. She pulled his hair off his shoulders and over his back where it stuck to his face from his tears.