Olympus: The Musical (On Crack)

It was on the winter solstice when Hermes ran inside the throne room, screaming his lungs out.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" He was chanting continuously. Tears streamed down his face comically as he hid his face on a pillow.

"Hermes!" Demeter complained, pointing at the pillow helplessly. "That was my favorite!"

Athena was about to ask what happened, when Aphrodite and Ares ran into the room, a frantic look in their eyes. Seeing as Aphrodite's hair was a mess while she tried to put on her sandals and Ares didn't have shoes on, the gods easily realized why Hermes was screaming his head off.

"Oh, gods!" Hades complained, burying his face in his hands, wanting nothing more than to disappear. He was tempted to take a dip in the Lethe just to remove that image from his brain.

"Oh, you poor soul," Demeter sat next to Hermes and stroked his her comfortingly. Poseidon perked up and took the opportunity.

"You poor unfortunate soul!" He sang (horribly, might I add) and Hades immediately perked up too.

"In pain!" The God of the Dead serenaded Zeus in a surprisingly nice voice.

"In need!" The two brothers looked at the youngest with matching smirks.

Zeus grumbled under his breath, but he hid a smirk as he abandoned weather control. He was also slightly upset his brothers didn't let him sing the last line. He was also upset that Hera wasn't allowing him to sing the rest of the song.

Small background vocals were heard and everyone turned to see Demeter and Hecate echoing the last words in each line Hades and Poseidon sang.

They heard violin music and turned to look around but didn't see who was providing it. By the hearth, Hestia was smiling softly as she made the violing play on its own.

They heard drum beats and saw Hermes, now over the trauma of seeing Aphrodite and Ares in the bedroom, using packages he was supposed to deliver and hitting them to the beat.

Musical scraping was heard as Ares, over the embarrassment, made a harp out of his knives.

Aphrodite produced tweeting doves.

Athena tapped her foot to the rhythm.

At a pause in the chorus, Tyche started beatboxing and Nemesis rapped a whole verse compromised only of the words, 'revenge' and 'bad luck'. She, somehow, made it work nicely.

Hypnos woke up (is that even possible?) and started breakdancing... horrible and out of tune.

Iris laughed and summoned rainbows, making the mortals think it was aliens.

Pan played his reed piped beside Hermes.

Hecate used the Mist to add incredibly creepy music that fit in the tune.

Then came the most surprising part. Dionysus stood up, wine glass in hand, and tried belting out 'Poor unfortunate soul' in a high note, extending the last word... he succeeded.

Apollo almost left his chariot, but Artemis teleported to him and slapped his head, making him do a 180. It was... very weird and scientists called it 'The Day of the Loopy Sun'.

The Fates sang quietly of their abilities to control life and death.

Amidst all the musical mess, squads of assassins came into the room, about the kill Zeus and Hera, but Leo somehow burst in and started singing Uptown Funk.

Snowflakes fell into the room as Khione smiled from the corner.

The primordial woke up and started singing angelically.

The music was heard from the Earth and everyone thought it was the angels sending a sign. Since then, 'Uptown Funk and the 'Little Mermaid' has been used in churches and various religions.