Y/n's mind went blank. Someone wanted to be friends with her? And to add if she doesn't mind?
Never had she heard such thing in the entire year of her staying in that dreaded school.
Y/n, you know they're just joking with you, why would they ever wanted to be friends with you? Who would want to hang out with an outcast loner and useless piece of shit like you?
Believing what her inner self said, she sealed away her feelings. She rejected humanity and succumb to loneliness. She embrace seclusion.
She smiled an empty smile,
"Thank you. But I don't need your pity." And walked away.
Y/n, keep on convincing herself that she should always be alone, became really alone. She herself hated loneliness, but she dare not reject it as she felt responsible for everything that ever happened.
* Chuckles *
That's right. Fall more into the darkness and perish with me. You're me and I'm you. We're both responsible.
A tear unknowingly roll down her cheeks but was immediately wiped away.
The bell rang and students get back into class. Y/n came back to only found her seat covered in glue. Before she could clean it, the teacher got in and students gave their greetings and was permitted to sit down. Everyone did except herself.
"L/n, what are you doing? The class is starting. Sit down."
"But I- "
"Don't waste anymore of my time. Sit down." The teacher agitated.
The bully snickers and y/n sat on the glued chair. She bites the inside if her mouth, unbeknownst to her till it bleed, enduring the sense of inferiority and shame.
She hated the world.
She hated everyone.
She wished everyone and everything would disappear.
She wanted everyone to die.
She wanted to kill the one who bullied her in the cruelest way possible.
She wanted to do a lot of things but she couldn't no anything.
She hated herself.
She wanted everything to stop.
Not paying any more attention to the class, she claws and scratches on her wrist continuously.
---------------------------
School ended but her pain didn't. Despite not telling a single soul to the imaginary teacher, they still beaten her up. Kicking her ribs, stepping on her ankle and finger. Robbed her from her money. Stepping on her pride and self esteem as a human. After they satisfied their need and left her alone, she took her bag and limping the whole way. She arrived, but was met with a brunette sitting in front of her door.
She wasn't in the mood to greet or meet anyone in this state. Before she could say anything, the brunette, who about to cheerfully call her, went dead serious.
He was enraged as he saw her haggard self. Tired eyes, disheveled and dirty hair, ripped uniform, bruised and bloody body.
"Y/n, who did this to you?"
But for her, even if she said anything, would anything ever change?
She pushed him away, ignored him and open the apartment door. Too tired for anything. Before she close the door, he go ahead and barge in himself.
"Y/n, please. What happened?" He said before pulling on her wrist and she hissed.
He took back his hand and his eyes were once again met by her dull eyes.
"Treat yourself a drink and get lost."
She mumbled and went to the bathroom, closing the door and locked it. The brunette was dumbfounded and sat there waiting for her.
In the bathroom, she stared at the mirror before started crying. Wishing none of this is a reality. At that time she was driven by her will to end the pain. She went, opened the cabinet and found a razor. She runs the hot water on the tub. She sat in there, looking at her bruised and scarred wrist. She began cutting herself deep.
It hurts but if this small price could end everything then she's willing to pay. She cut her wrist countless times as it bleed, tainting the clean water red. Her wrist that was full with cuts shakes in pain. She let the bleeding wrist into the hor water, stinging it as she hisses again and force herself to get used to it. She took the wounded hand out and forcing herself to cut her other wrist.
The running hot water prevented her wounds from closing. Continuing her to bleed out. Soon enough the water was painted red but the running water prevented it from completely dyed. She smiled, as she slowly lose consciousness from losing the blood.
How long has she sat there she wonder. Her wounded hand stings. She closed her eyes, and the darkness invaded her view. She opens her eyes but the light is is getting dimmer and dimmer. She couldn't feel anything much now, slowly she lost her sense of pain then her view and followed by her consciousness.
---------------------------
The brunette, find himself a seat. He soon heard the cry of the woman. He felt tension and anger, also sadness in his guts. His stomach turns and his chest is aching for her. He decided to let her be, getting some time for herself. He went out to the store, buying medicine to treat her bruises that was dreadful for him.
He came back frim his errand but she still hasn't come out and all he heard was water running. He thought that she was still crying and decided to wait.
5 minutes has passed since then and still no signs of her.
10 minutes has passed since he came back and he grows anxious.
Finally 15 minutes after he decided to knock, asking how she was doing. There was no answer.
He turns even more anxious as cold sweats runs down his chin.
"Y/n... Y/n-chan, answer me."
Still nothing. Only the sound of the water.
This time, Dazai couldn't do it anymore and barge into the bathroom, breaking the door. What he saw gave him chill to his bones.
There she lies, pale and lifeless.
