Forget me not (Dazai x Dying! Reader)

Chapter 8

The brunette's curious eyes scans through the room. Neat and a little dusty considering no one's home for some time, comfortable but lifeless. There's not much things in that house.

A living room with no decorations other than a plant sitting at the corner of the house. It's wilting.

A chair next to the terrace, next to the plant. He have a feeling someone is sitting there all the time.

With the living room next to the kitchen, it's your typical apartment with 1 bedroom.

"It's a little dusty. But it'll be fine to sit on the sofa."

She head to the kitchen, boiling some water on a kettle. She open the cardboard, trying to reach for tea.

The male, thinking she might be in trouble, head over and got the tea down for her, unintentionally leaning on her back with his chest.

She was surprised by the sudden contact, and back away, making her hand accidentally knock over the kettle.

Taken aback, Dazai blinked, hurry and pulled her hand to the sink, cooling it with cold water.

"Are you alright?"

She nods, "thankfully the water has yet to boil so it's not hot so please let go."

Ah, he thought she jad burned her hand due to his sudden approach, feeling relieved and let go of her hand.

"Sorry, I was surprised... I'll help you clean it." He said.

She turned him down, " Thank you.. for helping me. I'll clean it myself, you're a guest."

He felt kind of ticked off.

What is this feeling? Why does it felt odd and upsetting?

"It's my fault so I'll clean it."

"No, it's alright."

"Y/n-chan, why does it feel like you wanted to do everything by yourself?"

"... isn't that to be expected? As a responsible human being,"

She continues, "for most of my life, there's not much I can rely on.. no one.. I can ask for.... Help..."

Her voice was gradually becoming smaller however it was still audible to the brunette.

"It's alright to rely more on others. Rely on me more. Don't do anything on your own, because that's just.. lonely."

She didn't say anything other than the empty eyes she showed to him.

"..what made you think so? Just what do you know..?"

"Nothing."

"Then mind your own business."

"Exactly because I know nothing about you, I want you to tell me, to rely on me, scream at me what is your problem. Because, I don't like that eyes of yours, it's lacking something.."

"Dazai-san,"

Before he could finish his sentence, he was cut off by the female with her eyes looked cold and frozen, not wanting anyone to come close, keeping everything at bay.

"I'm afraid I can't offer you any tea right now as my house is also dusty. Please go back for today. I'll treat you tea at a later date."

"Y/n-"

"Go away."

"... Alright. You must be tired. Have a good night rest, y/n chan."

And he left, with only lingering image of him leaving in her head.

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Exiting the apartment, he scratched his head. Thinking he probably screwed up. He thought he probably did something unnecessary but he somehow dislike how the female act. He can't stand it. He didn't like how y/n looked dead and push people away while she looked like she wanted to cry herself. He's afraid that she might break.
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In the cold and dusty apartment, she sat down. She sighed and hug her knees, as if cradling herself, comforting herself.

"It's alright to rely more on someone else? I have no one like that.. that I can rely on..!"

She whispered and hug her knees closer, with her breathing uneven and trying to hold her tears from bursting out.

Her heart felt like it's aching so much that she felt like she's being stabbed with a knife. Her breathing fastened

"I'm alright.. I'm okay.. it's alright, it's okay so don't cry... If I cry I won't be able to stop. I'm okay... Don't cry.. it's alright... We're fine, we'll be fine."

Repeating the sentence over and over, it's a way she deceive herself. Deceiving herself, convincing she's alright. She knew that she's not but she denied to acknowledge such. She shouldn't appear weak. She refuse to. No, she denied the whole idea of being weak.

"I'm alright...."

The next day she didn't felt any better. She got up and sighed, preparing herself for the activity she will do. Putting on the armor called school uniform and raise her weapon called her bag, she set off to the battlefield called school.

Walking through the street, it's still early. She walked to school. The school was a little far but it's not like it's worth to take any transportation there. She's used to the rule of waking early and depart early.

The morning air was cool and the road was peaceful. It was nice and all until she arrived at school. Taking a deep breath, she finally step into the place that she hasn't enter for some time. It's not much of an event from her locker to her class.

Opening the door, the lively atmosphere fell silent as she walked into the classroom. She went to her desk and people started whispering.

"Psst! Hey, did you hear that her mom died?"

....

"Her dad died too at her early age."

Shut up.

"I heard that her mom went crazy."

Shut that mouth.

"I have also heard that she sold her body just for money!"

Stop talking.

"What's with that?! Eww that's just gross."

Stop it.

"So now she's an orphan. *Snickers* poor her."

What do you know?