Danganronpa One Shots

kirumi x kaede if you squint

One two three four one two three four one two three four one two three four.

I frown at the sludge of green onions I had procured. That can't be right. I counted to four, four times, no? I glare at the knife in my hands. Perhaps it is too sharp? I shake my head in disapproval, grabbing another knife from the rack. How I miss my knife set, embossed with jade and never too sharp or dull.

"Uh, good morning?" I jump slightly, spinning around to the voice behind me. It is Kaede, to which I sigh in relief. I briefly forgot other people exist.

"Morning?" Her words set in, and I quickly glance at the clock. The morning announcement is only in a few minutes, and I have nothing done. The thrill of getting things done kicks in, and I immediately get to work.

"How come there's green stuff everywhere?" Kaede asks, poking one of my miserable quivers of onion.

"For breakfast I am preparing bagels with fresh cut salmon and green onions, however..." I gesture to the numerous piles on an array of different chopping boards.

"Kirumi-san... When was the last time you slept?" I blink, a bit confused by her question.

"I cannot recall. But do not worry, I have endured many sleepless nights as the ultimate maid. I enjoy it." I smooth down my apron. Whoops. One two three four times I smooth it down. It doesn't feel right so I repeat doing it while Kaede responds.

"I get that, but..." The blonde pokes her cheek as she thinks. After the fourth time of counting to 4 it feels right, so I return to a neutral stance.

"We're in a stressful situation none of us- including you- have been in. It's okay if maybe your talent isn't doing so hot right now." I consider her words carefully.

While I have been under very stressful situations as the ultimate maid, I must admit I have never endured a trial such as this killing game. It seems as though Kaede can read my mind, so I avoid her gaze and look downwards.

"Yes.. I suppose you're right. Although as the ultimate maid I cannot be doing, as you say, not so hot right now."

"Yes, you can!" Kaede blurts out. I give her a quizzical look.

"You aren't just the ultimate maid, Kirumi-san! You're... er, you're Kirumi-san! You are your own person and you have the right to relax!" I do not quite agree with her sentiment, but it does make me think a bit.

"Are you ordering me to relax?"

"Hmmm..." She thinks, crossing her arms with a tight frown, "If that's the only way you'll relax, then yes."

"Wonderful." I nod, and my body immediately goes slack. I did not notice how physically exhausted I was.

"Oh! Here we go!" The surprisingly strong Kaede hoists me onto her back, my head lilting onto her shoulder. I feel a tad guilty, but since it's an order and since I'm a couple minutes away from fainting, I decide not to ponder on it any longer.

I hear the dim voices of my classmates, all while feeling a surmounting amount of guilt at not being able to feed them.

The seemingly psychic Kaede responds with support.

"We know how to cook, no worries! Rantaro has twelve younger sisters. Hm, I wonder if he's the ultimate butler." In spite of myself I laugh. Kaede sets me down on my well kept bed and sits a good distance away from me.

"Thank you Kaede." I try to say properly, but my voice and consciousness is giving out. I hear her voice, but it's too muffled to hear her clearly. I try to ask for a clarification but at that point I am drifting in the void of sleep.

Eventually I'm woken up by a glaring bright light, which I rub from my eyes. My internal clock is set so I wake up every day at 4 AM, but the sun is too bright for it to be such. With a heavy amount of confusion I sit upright and look at my surroundings. The light comes not from the sun, but instead a particular robot. A small crowd of my classmates- the ones who I know the best- are circled around my bed.

"Ah! Mom's awake~" Kokichi sings, immediately leaping on to me. I would prefer he did not call my mom, it feels a bit alienating coming from one my own age. It does provoke a feeling of warmth though.

"Yes-" I say anxiously, growing increasingly concerned with what time it is. "May I query for how long I've slept?"

The previously aforementioned robot presses their fingers together, a pink sort of tone washing their otherwise sickly grey face. Their light has since been shut off.

"W-well... You have been asleep for 2 days. We were worried so we woke you up." I jump out of bed in horror.

"Hey, it's no big deal! Nothing bad has happened!" Kaede runs to me. My fingers start tapping on my dress in increments in four, but the action does little to calm my racing thoughts.

"I-I need to- the dust- the food-" I attempt to collect my thoughts.

"Er, um, I order you to stay calm." I quickly put on a blank facade, however my mind is still racing with a to-do list. Usually the feeling of urgency is a calming process, but two days of work is an almost undoable amount, even for the ultimate maid.

"You're faking." Kaede pouts, and I try to genuinely calm my raging mind.

It does not work.

"It's not a big deal. Really!" I'm not convinced.

"Amami-kun and Kiyo-kun cooked the whole time while we took turns watching you! Anything that needed to get cleaned was done by the Gonta-kun!" Gonta chorused with a "Gonta gentleman" after her last statement.

"You are sure?" I question. She nods enthusiastically.

"One hundred and one percent."

"That is mathematically impossible." Keebo interjects, clearly wanting to explain further, but Kokichi stops them.

"Wowww Keeboy, i can't believe you were able to do basic math! You're so clearly superior to the rest of us!"

"That's robophobic!" Keebo hisses, hiding in the turtleneck-esque shape of their outfit.

"Poor Keebo! I bet that the iron giant never had to put up with such discrimination." Tsumugi says aloud, holding out one finger.

I feel a strange sort of relief as my classmates interact with me as equals. When Miu makes jest out of me not having seen the iron giant, I do not feel ashamed but rather happy.

An emotion I had hypothesized came from the satisfaction of cleaning and making others comfortable was now arriving in a new form- social interaction...?

How peculiar.

I do...

I do quite enjoy it.