when it blooms | yunsan

Chapter 14

Yunho starts taking the flower shop route less.

It started with San not being able to spare time for a small chat like he used to. He said he's been getting orders recently, and together with Jiyoon's wedding preparation, he's quite hustled. It's okay, Yunho thought, it's just a small chat and he didn't want to bother San who was occupied. It's also a good thing his flower shop was getting the attention it deserved. Even if Pepper seemed to be unhappy with having no time spent with San, it's okay.

Happens, that it wasn't a one time thing. He seemed to be busy every time Yunho visited him, and while that upsets Yunho, he couldn't say anything when he saw San wearing an apologetic face, looking nervous to turn him down. It's okay, Yunho thought, because talks about a new friend named Clove joining the shelter (godfather being Hongjoong of course) or him being proud of taking care of Umbellata so well, that it had grown twice in size, weren't important compared to San's job.

The anxiety that had been smoldering in his deep gut had surfaced when San turned him down to see him on the day he was off, for the third time. He must be busy, but could he be that busy? Yunho hated doubting people, but he wasn't dense to know that San was, in fact, avoiding him.

That fact strikes him heavily. He has thought about what he could have done to upset San. He thinks about the day they met at the cafe, Yunho leaving abruptly to help Mingi out. Was it bad that he left in the middle of a conversation? Did he take too long to come back? Or was it something he said before he left? He churns his head with all the useless questions, because he will never know the answer. The answer only San holds, but the said person not giving him a chance to ask.

Unfortunately, his heart isn't made of steel that he could face numerous rejection and not feel anything. Not when it is from San. His heart grows heavy whenever he reenacts the expression San wears when Yunho approaches him.

Yunho wants to see San smile, where his dimples crease deeply in his cheeks, his eyes thin out forming beautiful crescents, his lips attaining nothing but joy. He wants to bathe in that glow of etherealness. He doesn't want him to look troubled, upset, or sad. And it is all but himself being the reason for them, and that is what hurts him, more than the fact that he can't see San.

❀

Even though the distressing situation with San is what mostly occupies Yunho's mind, he still finds some things to cheer him up. Like Clove being the youngest and the most cheerful puppy in the shelter, yapping tirelessly and while Hongjoong and Jongho voice annoyance, they can't help but find him endearing. So does Yunho.

Like his mother taking him out on a shopping spree, who's glad to have an excuse such as Jiyoon's wedding to dress her son up. Yunho loved seeing his mother dressing in a pretty outfit, but she seemed to enjoy more on suiting her son up, sighing at how handsome her son was, grabbing a staff to agree with her, in which Yunho gave an embarrassed dry laugh.

Like Mingi coming back home with rosy cheeks after the most grand dinner of finally asking the girl out. He announces victory with much excitement and a grin so wide Yunho thinks it might as well reach his cheek bones.

"I'm happy for you," Yunho says, because he is. But his face fails to make a convincing smile, something that he has been having a difficulty in achieving lately, and he's glad Mingi isn't looking at him. He makes two cups of hot chocolate, hoping it would compensate for his failure.

Mingi keeps on yapping about how pretty she looked, how smoothly the date went with his confident lead (which Yunho has doubts on. He doesn't like doubting people but Mingi is an exception), how happy he was, all in motion with his hands while holding the cup that Yunho handed, and he can't help but feel anxious of him spilling the content on himself. He resembles Clove, Yunho thinks, noisy but endearing.

He never looked this delighted—maybe that time when one of his students from the dance class had won a competition—but it was a different kind of joy, because this time, romance was involved.

Yunho ponders, taking a sip of his own hot chocolate. It's sweet and warm. "What's it like to like someone?"

Mingi quiets down with Yunho's question, blushing then blinking more than necessary. "Um," he mumbles. "It's like, wanting to see that person smile."

There's a dimpled smile at the back of Yunho's mind.

"Wanting that person to always be happy."

He wants to see him wear that smile, always.

"Wanting that reason to be you."

He imagines the giggle right beside him, and he feels sweet and warm like tasting hot chocolate.

"Wanting to hold that person."

He can almost feel the solidity in his arms, something so close yet so far. That comfort he felt like home.

"Wanting to see that person all the time...and you miss them when you can't."

Yunho inhales slowly. He blankly glances at the vase on the table, looking idle having lost its purpose for weeks. It's empty, just like how Yunho feels.

A/N:

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