I had it all planned in my mind. I'm gonna bring your favorite wine and we'll drink it in paper cups, since you were never a fan of wine glasses. I'm gonna order a bucket of Mini Stop fried chicken and a loaf of bread. Yeah, we were on a "diet" like that. I'm gonna prepare a special Spotify playlist full of songs that you randomly message me about, which I patiently listen to all the time even if I'm not really into your kind of music. Then I'm just gonna add a few songs that you might also like because I listen to them whenever I think of you. I've always wanted to give you flowers but you think they're overrated so I would just get you a cute little teddy bear that I'll spray with my perfume that you love to sniff when we hug. I wanted that night to be our "moment".
I was busy planning this when you called me. The first thing you said was sorry, and everything that followed was already gibberish. During that call, I suddenly hated your favorite wine and I wanted to tell you that wine glasses are more appropriate to use when you have wine. Duh. Mini Stop chicken seemed like any other chicken, I thought, while you were explaining how guilty you were and that you'd make it up to me next week. I wanted to tell you how your songs are too indie and emo and some of them actually don't make sense. Right then, a big teddy bear inside my room made so much sense since I just wanted to curl up in its arms and cry while listening to the songs that I know you will never like because they're too mainstream.
When you were done talking, I took a deep breath and feigned a smile before responding to you, so you won't feel more guilty. I told you it was ok and that I never really had plans for our night anyway so might as well postpone it. I heard the relief in your voice and you were very thankful, and I was still faking the smile. Before you said goodbye, you gave a tentative schedule next week and told me that you'd confirm asap. I said ok and I hung up.
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It was the last time I heard from you. All the succeeding 'plans' we had were cancelled and your messages went from every-minute updates to just good-morning's and goodnight's as the days passed by. And as expected, plans weren't cancelled anymore. You decided to cancel us.
