The Lady Behind The Door

Cinco

Questions

My mental health is getting worse each day. Thats why I spend my whole time in designing clothes. I love styling and creating a clothes. I really do hope that this will going to be successful.

"I am free tonight,phoebe. Why did you ask?" I said while I creating a pattern for a dress. "Oh i see...we need to talk about something important." She answered.

Huminto ako sa ginagawa ko at itinuon ang atensyon sa kanya. I faced the mirror. "What is it? M-May nagawa ba kong mali?" Pagpapanic ko agad. Bigla tuloy akong kinabahan.

Eto na naman ako sa pag ooverthink ng mga bagay-bagay. Nakakainis minsan yung utak ko, hindi nagpapasabi kung kelan magooverthink. Traydor.

"Wala kang nagawang mali, ano ka ba. I just want to have a time with you. Its been a month since you've been busy for your upcoming business and I think you need some rest." In her tone, she looks excited and happy. I believe she just want to talk to me about life.

"Okay, just send me the location." I ended the call. Nakita ko ang repleksyon ko sa salamin. I look so pale. Wearing an oversized t-shirt and a denim short. My hair tied up at may himulmol pa ang damit ko ng ilang pirasong tela.

"If I knew that I will going to be like this, I should end it before." Sabi ko sa sarili ko.

Pagtapos ng gawain sa bahay at workout ay kumain na ko ng tanghalian. Sobrang bilis ng pangyayari kapag may schedule ako kaya naman hindi na ko magtataka kung litong-lito ko sa susuotin ko para sa dinner ngayong gabi.  

"Fuck!" I cursed at the wind because my clothes were around my room. But at the end, I just wear bodycon satin dress because its comfy and sexy. And if I fall asleep as I came home, them its fine. I wear full glam makeup since this is the night that I can be myself.

Bitch let's make this night memorable!

Nang makarating na ako sa tinext ni Phoebe na location, it is so fancy and elegant restaurant. Parang sobrang formal naman niya ngayon, dati usually sa club siya nag-aayang mag bonding with other models and celeb, but now I hope that she just really wants to talk to me formally about life and nothing else.

"Hey im here, where are you?" I called her when I went to a VIP area. Nakabook na yung table. "Wait a sec, im coming." She explained. "Hurry up, some people staring at me." Pagbulong ko pa.

"You're gorgeous, of course they will fantasizing you." She compliment. Umirap ako sa kawalan at pinutol na ang tawag ng lumapit ang waiter. "I'm just waiting for someone. Thank you." Agad naman siyang tumango.

Maya-maya pa ay bigla na namang bumilis yung tibok ng puso ko. My hands are shaking. That's why I didn't go outside often. But suddenly, it seems like someone standing in front of me. It is phoebe.

"Ang tagal mo—" napahinto ako sa pagsesermon ng mapagtantong hindi si Phoebe ang kaharap ko. "W-What are you doing here?" Napakunot ako ng noo at napatingin sa paligid kung meron ba siyang kikitain pero kami na lang pala ang nandito dahil konti lang ang nasa VIP area. It was Mattheo.

He pulled the chair and sat his ass there. He removed his tux and place it at the back rest of chair. "Hmh.. can we just say that.. I am your date for tonight?" Lumapit pa siya sa akin ng konti at pabulong iyon sinabi na parang sikreto lang naming dalawa.

Hindi ko akalain na ganito ang kahihinatnan ng gabing 'to. Kaya pala kanina pako kinakabahan, may ikakakaba naman pala. Pero bakit?

"Bakit ka naman nandito?" Tanong ko sa kanya ng maayos. "The question is Who. Sino yung dapat kong puntahan dito?" Pagtatama niya pa sakin. Oh di ba, akala mong sinong magaling. Buti na lang talaga maayos yung utak ko ngayon. Nako, huwag lang siya gumawa ng di ko gusto, di matatapos yung gabing 'to na hindi ko siya nabibitay. "Whatever." Pag-irap ko sa kanya.

Kinuha ko na ang purse ko sa likod at aalis na dapat pero nagsalita siya, "Zamera." That was my second name. Napatigil ako at pakiramdam ko lalabas na sa dibdib ko yung puso ko. "What did you just said?" Tanong ko ulit sa kanya na parang hindi ko narinig yung sinabi niya.

"Zamera. Your second name. Lilith Zamera Creed. That is your full name." Tumayo din siya at kinuha ang kamay ko, nanginginig pa rin iyon. Napansin ni Mattheo ang kamay ko, he held it gently and rub it to ease my panic attack.

"It was nice to meet you, Lady. Have a seat first." Tinuro niya pa ang upuan upang umupo ako roon. Pilit kong pinakalma ang sarili ko dahil hindi ko alam ang gusto niyang mangyari. "Let's have a eat first." He recommmended. Isang senyas niya lang at nandoon na ang pagkain sa harapan namin at isang bote ng wine.

I just keep on thinking of random things because I don't want to feel what im feeling right now. Its not good for my health. Nakatingin lang siya sa kamay ko ng hinihiwa ko ang steak. Nagulat ako ng pinagpalit niya ang pinggan naming dalawa. Ibinigay niya sa akin yung plate na may steak na hiwa na. "Kalma,lili." He still wearing that intimidating aura that he always serve to anyone. "T-Thank you." Yumuko ako ng bahagya at bumagsak naman ang buhok na nakatago sa likod ng tenga ko.

"Wait." He stand up at pumunta sa likod ko para itali yung buhok ko para makakain ako ng maayos. Hindi naman ako makagalaw dahil piling ko sobrang focus siya sa ginagawa niya. And I don't want to interupt him. Ginawaran ko siya ng tipid na ngiti ng makabalik siya sa upuan niya.

"How did you know my full name?" I asked when I rememebered what he said a while ago. "Easy. Private investigator." He answered confidently and full of honesty. Hindi man lang ata siya kinabahan o may naramdaman kung ano sa loob niya.

"24 years old. Actress and model. Single..." he licked my personal infos he knew. "And ready to mingle." He put a smirk into his lips. Well he always looking good. "Who says that im ready to mingle? And you hired a private investigator just to know my personal life you can just ask me in person ?" Umupo ako mg tuwid at tinaasan siya ng kilay.

Umupo siya tuwid at niluwagan ang neck tie niya habang nakapatong ang siko sa lamesa. "You have a point... Do you mind if im going to ask you some question now? You know, getting to know each other?" Paghingi niya ng permiso sa akin.

Nag-isip ako saglit habang nagtititigan kami. Tila ba hinihigop ako ng mga mata niya. Isang bagay na nakapagpapahinto sa utak ko para magpatuloy sa pagiisip ng sagot. Sa pagpapatuloy ng pagtitigan ay wala ako sa sarili kaya pinutol ko ito.

Nakahinga ako ng maluwag ng lumapit ang waiter upang ilabas ang champagne na gustong inumin ni Mattheo. "Yes." Napatingin siya sakin dahil sa sagot ko. "You can ask some question about me." Nagliwanag ang mukha niya at nagpinta ng isang matamis na ngiti ang labi niya pero sa likod noon ay tila mapanganib ang naisin niya.

I will not let anyone else know who I really am but now I suddenly forget who am I. Am I ready to open it up to other person? I am healed or I am just not thinking about it?