Life's Anecdotes

Dream Land

In my dreamland I was so happy
Till sluggishly emerging into reality
Feeling as if cracking up on the slide
Widespread shattering from deep inside
Slowly but surely each piece falling apart
And as a cold engine refusing to start
My heart was merely jumping and grating
Then crawling out of my skin
My brain seems to be still sleeping in
For I couldn't manage a single clear thought
Seems I tried in vain for even as I fought
All my thoughts were crushed in brain's pit
Just as they began to take shape even a bit
Nothing much got done that day
As my mind kept going astray

"It's come at last" her mind would whisper
"The time when you can no longer
Stand between heartache and your children"
When there wasn't in the house
Enough food to feed all the mouths
You would just pretend then
That in hunger you were not the slightest bit
So they could have some more to eat
And in the freezing night of winter
You got up and with your blanket to cover
On their bed so they wouldn't be cold
You'd be ready to dispose of anyone who tried
To harm any or even if one of them cried
"Like that man in the hallway
Whom I've done my best to kill away"
But then comes one sunny day
They go out in all innocence
And walk right into the grievance
You'd give your whole life
To spare them from its strife
A person with a heart so cold
Can only love in the way as the mold
He would have ever known to hold
All of our hardships I have endured
As luxuries I could have endeavoured
I would be making light of any scurvy
Banqueting of train-oil like a delicacy
Then I would meet with hurt for wich
There is no language framed for such
He left us in the freezing cold
When I learned to get warm by myself
He would then have gotten mad
He had lost his mind in trying
To understand hers in its working
He then set his heart in the cold so bitter
Just so he could freeze in it her love
Though her heart was on a blazing fire
As a phoenix rising from the flames to fly high above
Coldness and numbness were mere walls
Built to hide his self behind his mind's halls
As it's kind of strange how the woman
Holding the love of the world in heart
Seems the scariest to love for this man
All I know is those years wasted searching
For a trophy of some sort or something
I would get only if I gave my all and really
Did enough to deserve it eventually
But I no longer want it anymore though
As now I want something else
Something warm and sheltering
To wich I can turn to regardless
Of who I become or whatever I'm doing
Something always there that will just be
As sure like tomorrow's sky for me
That is what I want now really
And what you should want too I think
~ ~ ~

I was happy in the dream; but when I woke up it was with a feeling that I was falling apart, that I was cracking up from the inside and slowly falling to pieces. My heart was jumping and grating like a cold engine that doesn't want to start. My skin was crawling, and I couldn't manage a single clear thought. It was as if all my thoughts were crushed to bits just as they began to take shape. I didn't get much done that day.

It's come at last," she thought, "the time when you can no longer stand between your children and heartache. When there wasn't enough food in the house you pretended that you weren't hungry so they could have more. In the cold of a winter's night you got up and put your blanket on their bed so they wouldn't be cold. You'd kill anyone who tried to harm them - I tried my best to kill that man in the hallway. Then one sunny day, they walk out in all innocence and they walk right into the grief that you'd give your life to spare them from.

A person with a cold heart can only show their love by being cold

I endured all our hardships as if they had been luxuries: I made light of scurvy, banqueted off train-oil, and met hurt for which there is no language framed.

He left us in the cold and got mad when I learned how to get warm by myself.

He lost his mind trying to understand hers.
He set his heart in the bitter cold so that he could freeze her love but her heart was on fire, like Phoenix rising from the flames.
coldness and numbness were just walls that he hid behind. And it's kind of strange how the woman who holds the love of the world in her heart, she is the scariest to love

All I know is that I've wasted all these years looking for something, a sort of trophy I'd get only if I really, really did enough to deserve it. But I don't want it anymore, I want something else now, something warm and sheltering, something I can turn to, regardless of what I do, regardless of who I become. Something that will just be there, always, like tomorrow's sky. That's what I want now, and I think it's what you should want too.