Files of Tainted | Nakahara Chuuya

|two|

"How's he?"

"We found him in critical condition, most of his bones were either cracked or turned to dust."

"Oh, God, what do you think caused it?"

"Well, it seems as if he broke down the iron door of his room with his own body."

"W-what?! But- even if that is the case and the aftermath is just as expected, how was he able to destroy the door and for what reason?"

"We're still trying to figure out what's causing his attacks, but for now we have to treat him."

"Got it. We're starting right away."

Voices. They're everywhere, surrounding me, talking to me. I thought I could get used to it. They told me I could get used to it. They said I'll get better. They said that I'll survive whatever was going on in my head. They said I could. And yet here I am. In a hospital bed, half dead. Again.

Light. There was a light blinding me from above. Is this the end? Is it? Can I finally be set free? Can I finally die and pass into a world without 'it'? "Chuuya, how are you feeling?" Apparently not. The nurse beside me looked disgusted. I wouldn't blame her. I'm disgusting. My life has been one full of shame. I've no happy memories.

I tried speaking but I felt a huge pain in my chest when trying to do so. I was hyperventilating. Everything hurt. 'Why are you still alive' I couldn't think straight. 'You should have just died' I felt darkness trying to consume me once again. 'The world would have been better if you just disappeared'

...

Then it hit me. The voices were right. They always were. Why am I here now? What good do I bring to the world? It seems as if all I bring is sorrow to everyone around me. What if I just disappeared. Wouldn't that be great? The doctors wouldn't have to waste their precious time on a monster like me. I wouldn't have to endure the look on their faces when I pass out in a pull of my own blood. I wouldn't have to feel the pain of breathing and the suffering being alive brings me. I could just stop being.

While I was thinking of my own demise once again, the nurse gave me an oxygen mask implanted with a sleeping drug to keep me calm. Seems like the experiments aren't over yet. Just what I needed. If I could just get out of here maybe I'd have a chance to die.

'Hah, as if. You can't get rid of a part of yourself, can you?'