Falling In Love With Ms.Argente

PROLOGUE

  This is a work of fiction.
Names,characters, places and insidence that is resemblance to the actual situation is coinsidencial. This is only the product of authors imagination. Don't expect too much about this story.

*THIS CONTAINS MATURE SCENES THAT ARE NOT SUITABLE FOR MINORS
DO NOT COPY NOR TRANSMIT WITHOUT AUTHOR'S PERMISSION _____________________________
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READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

Life is lifeless when you do nothing it is lifeless when you don't know your purpose. Better live with what you need to do than live doing nothing.

Here I am again, staring blankly at the ceiling asking when all of my burdens would end. Thinking about the cruelness of this world. Blaming God, because of all people, why me? Why me even though I don't do anything that can harm others? Why do I need to suffer? Why does he need to make me suffer too much, why do I need to live like this? Yes, I am alive but for me my life is lifeless, my life is wasted. I am just a burden to my family, to anyone, to the world. Every night I prayed, praying that if I will stay this way until my last breath, please right now, kill me.

I don't want to prolong my suffering. I am sick, I am in vain and useless, want to know why? I am badly sick, bakit sa dami ng pwedeng maging sakit yung puso ko pa. Minsan napapatanong ako, Am I cursed? Do I deserve this kind of life? 

Heart is the strongest part of the body and weakest part at the same time.

May sakit ako, mula pa nang ako ay maging tao sakit ko na ito, ang puso ko ay mayroong butas at habang tumatanda ako palaki ng palaki ang butas nito. Donor ang kailangan ko para makaalis ako sa sumpang ito, isang tao na magbibigay ng sarili niyang puso para sa akin, pero sinong mangmang ang magbibigay ng sarili niyang puso? Wala! No one wanted to donate their own life for the sake of others.

I accepted it a long ago, accepted that my life was short, we can't say a day when I am strong or still breathing. I am fully aware that anytime and anywhere there's a big chance or possibility that my heart would stop pumping, and I am just waiting that time to come. Crazy right? Maraming gustong mabuhay pero heto ako nagdadasal na sana matapos na ang paghihirap ko, matapos na ang buhay ko.

  Well, I remembered the day when the doctor finds out what's the problem with my health. I am playing happily at the park, running endlessly, playing with so many children, until I caught out of breathe, and I collapse, my parents rush to the nearest hospital. And after that day my life changed. Ang pagbabago sa aking buhay ay parang bomba na bigla nalang nag explode and boom iba na ang daily routine ko.

At first, I can't accept the fact that I am no longer free, I am no longer able to do what I did every day like playing with my playmates, running until I got tired, laughing so hard until my stomach hurts, and crying too much. For me, all of this was ridiculousness, this is insane, no, it's driving me crazy, this fucking situation drives me like crazy. It's been ten years of being a prisoner in our own house, I am only five years old ng ma-diagnosed ng doctor ang sakit ko, conginetal heart disease, it is not curable unless there is a donor. Since then, my parents didn't allow me to go outside to play, at ito ang rason kung bakit hindi ako nabuhay ng normal kagaya ng ibang mga kabataan na pwedeng maglaro hanggang sa sila ay mapagod. Pwedeng umiyak hanggang gusto nila at pwedeng maging masaya ng sobra.

How can you say that my life is normal when I can't do what children at my age does? I envy them because they can do whatever they want nang walang iniisip na baka mawalan sila ng malay dahil sa pagod o kaya ay kung ano na ang lagay ng kanilang kalusugan, Isa akong kabaliktaran nila dahil kailangan ko munang isipin ang kundisyon ko bago ko gawin ang isang bagay, kailangan ko isa alang-alang ang mga pwedeng mangyari at isipin ang mga bagay na ipinag babawal sa akin ng doctor.