Damian Wayne One Shots

Dear Diary Page One

[ little A.N! For all the 'Dear diary' mini series words written in 'Bold' are the words in Damian's diary, the text written'normally' are other characters, and words written in the 'side ways text' is me/A.N! Hope this helps a little!]
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING!⚠️
This chapter contains the following triggers. Please read at your own rick.
Self hard, suicidal thoughts and depression.

Hello me!
Little vent to myself!!

Yay...

I feel like I'm suffering! The stress of failing in school and the death of Titus, and the constant reminders of him.

But what Dick said about John only using me, really hurt me! To be honest I thought I had gotten over my trust issues, but apparently not..

After what happened with Raven, I didn't really think I could trust anyone, but then John came into my life and I started trusting again! I was having a bit of fun even..

But now that Dick said he's only using me for being the son of Batman and my hacking skills. I think he might be right...

As much as I don't want it to be true, but I think it is..

Today when John came over all he did was play with my utility belt, text his boyfriend and eat the food I cooked for us, since Alfred was out and he was hungry.

He keeps saying that his boyfriend wants him to stay at my house the night, so he can text him all night, because Kent takes it off him at night.

It might just be me and my trust issues, but I'm starting to see a lot of red flags...

My trust issues wouldn't have come back if it wasn't for Dick reminding me of what Raven did, and how John might do the same..

And now I'm starting to think over all my relationship and friendships with people. I don't want to have trust issues again, but it looks like I'm getting them...
I don't want to talk to mother about this because I don't trust her anymore. Not do I trust Father.

Pulse the last time I told Mother about something about wanting to be a photographer, she laughed in my face and said I'll never be one and there is no point in trying because I will just fail.

And you know it's sad because that was the first time and last time I will ever tell someone else what I want to be when I'm older.

And it doesn't help that when I told Dick that I was doing art next year instead of personal life skills, and he told me that I was going to fail and that I wouldn't be able to do it...

To be honest they are making me feel like a failure...

Oh and let's not forget the time when Father told me I'll never succeed and I'll just fail and end up homeless. Way to boost my self confidences!

Note the sarcasm.

I need a coffee that always calms me down a bit...
No actually I want to jump off a bridge!

That would be nice...

When Titus died I really wanted to. But I never really got around to doing it.

Sadly..

I feel like bursting into tears right now, but I don't know why. To be honest the book I'm writing right now has been helping suppress these emotions and feeling.
But there is only so much I can take, until I pop!