My Psychologist is Undead

"Hey, take it easy."

"Don't tell me to take it easy! Would you be able to take it easy if your psychologist was dead?"

"No," he admitted, "but your psychologist isn't dead!"

"What!" I exclaimed, pointing to the ground in front of me. "Can't you see her corpse?"

"Well, she's not dead anymore!" he exclaimed, "she's undead!"

"What?" I stared at the stranger's ecstatic face. Then he clarified,

"She's a zombie!"

"That's not funny," I yelled, and used the force to push him into outer space, and all the way past Pluto. Then I heard a shuffling noise behind me, and I turned around. That wasn't the greatest decision. "Oh my apple-flavored pickled vegetable fish." My psychologist was a zombie.

"I'm sorry," I said to the kid that I had blasted to outer space.

"It's all good," he said, "I was wearing my spacesuit. Also, you blasted me up to a space station, and now I'm living up here!"

"Wow!" I exclaimed, "what's it like up there?"

"It's amazing!" he answered, "you should visit me sometime!"

"Sure!" I replied, "oh and by the way, you were right about my psychologist being a zombie!"

"Told you!" he said. "Also I have a pet dog named Laika! She was floating around after she fell out of sputnik 2!"

"Wow," I shook my head admiringly as my psychologist lurched toward me in an uneven gate. "That's awesome dude!" I shut down the phone that I was talking to him on.

Then I frowned, I didn't remember talking to him on a phone. Why would I even have his phone number? I shrugged it off.

"Hello, It's nice to see you again Adam."

"Hey, nice to see you too!" I said. Then I sat down on her couch. It was really nice, just like the one that I had bought yesterday. It had red blankets and blue pillows. I sunk into it and sighed. There was nothing more satisfying than sinking into a soft couch.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Curious," I answered, "why did you die?"

"You don't remember?" she asked, scribbling furiously on her notepad. "You drove me insane!"

"What?" I spit out my soda. That was odd, I didn't remember having soda before this moment. Ah, who cares, I thought. "How?" I asked.

"Usta!" she screamed with gusto! "Usta!!!! Lip is usta!"

Then she started to jump up and down on a couch. I smiled, that looked like fun. "Join me Larry!" she yelled.

"No!" I screamed back, "I shall never sing and dance with a loyalist! I am a true patriot! I will never serve King George!"

"Nooo!" she wailed, "not another one!" She hissed at me and pointed an accusing finger my way. "Soldiers, seize this rebel!"

"You shall never take me alive!" I screamed, "the Jedis will destroy you and your death star."

Then I pulled out my life saver and chewed the hard candy. It teleported me away! As I traveled through space, I heard my psychologist's cries of rage echo far away. Sorry, I thought smirking, you won't get me this time!

Then I met up with the kid from the space station. He smiled as I landed on the roof.

"Hey!" he said, "I'm your long-lost brother!"

"That's awesome!" I answered, "do you have any cookies?"

"Of course," he replied, giving me a funny look. He pointed down. I looked down. The ship was made out of cookies. I sat down and started eating. Then I looked up to see a giant cookie monster flying toward us!

"No!" my long-lost brother screamed, "not again!"

Then the cookie monster had landed next to us, and shrunk, and turned into my psychologist. Then I was thrown off of the edge of a giant cliff.

"Nooooo!" I let out a howl of anguish as I fell, "I never got to eat the cookies!"

Then, I bolted up in bed, breathing heavily. "Cookies," I mumbled, before going back to sleep. "I wanted those cookies." What I didn't see was my psychologist standing over me in a cookie monster outfit. But maybe that was just a dream too. 

AN: I know this is VERY random. I wrote it at like 11 pm last night. I tried to capture the essence of the randomness of a dream. I think I did pretty well. You know, how like the surroundings of your dream suddenly change, but you don't notice it? Also, I'm gonna write comments on certain lines to tell you where I got them from. this should be interesting.