Days, weeks, even months passed before something finally happened.
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A tired-looking nurse sat down by my side. She was the very same one that had stayed there month after month waiting for something, anything to happen. She began to sway side to side, to the steady rhythm of Mozart that was playing behind her. Her eyes started to flutter, and she was just on the verge on falling asleep when one of the machines started beeping loudly.
She looked dazed for a moment, but she quickly regained focus and rapidly started punching buttons on the machine. She had spent a while preparing for this, I could tell by the way her fingers flew over the buttons as if she knew each and every single one by heart.
That made me feel much better. Someone cared about me. They spent so much of their valuable time sitting next to me, waiting for me, instead of trying to help someone who had a better chance of surviving... They still believed, even though five months had already passed.
I had even given up on myself. I thought I could do this for Fiona. But as more time had passed, I got more and more doubtful.
The beeping slows with each passing moment, until it stops. The nurse cries silent tears, and wipes a stray lock of damp hair away and tucks it behind her ear. She calls in my mother, who visits every day with Fiona and Freddy, whose birthday just passed less than a week ago. My mother has tears in her eyes, with a child's hand held in each arm.
"Sh-she... Didn't... Ma-make... It." the nurse struggled to say through her glistening tears that were pouring down like a waterfall. She really cared about me.
My mother nods her head in sorrow. I can see her clasped hands, the words she mouths... She is praying for me. Somehow, I can hear what she's saying.
God, This is harder for me than you could ever imagine. Lily- she was my world. My children are the most important thing left in my life ever since David passed away in the accident. Lily deserves nothing but the best. She deserves a wonderful life up there in heaven. A life filled with nothing but pleasure. Maybe you could arrange for her to meet David! Losing her has made me realize how I should never had lied to her. She deserves to know. Please tell her for me.... That she's.... A-a-adopted.
Amen.
My head swirls, it's hard to take this all in. I want to comfort her, and tell her everything's alright, everything's going to turn out fine. But I know I can't do that, and even if I could, I would be lying. Because everything isn't alright. Everything won't turn out fine. Because it's already too late...
The last words I think are,
I love you all.
