The Legend List

Chapter Three

"This is your brilliant idea?"

We had driven only a few blocks and are now sitting in the parking lot at Thrift City- the only thrift store in Lincoln, and a place I don't think I've ever actually been into. Mom would burst a blood vessel if she knew I had spent money on second-hand clothing that wasn't vintage Chanel.

"This is literally the perfect place. We find Larry a new look, and we can pick up some kind of a costume for Harp to wear for the rest of the night." Gwen wiggles her eyebrows- few things make her happier than an impromptu shopping trip. "Birds, stone- you know the drill. Come on."

The old sign in the parking lot flickers, advertising a fifty percent off sale. After a whole ten seconds inside, it's pretty clear that Thrift City isn't one of those 'diamond in the rough' thrift stores where you could root around for a few hours and end up discovering something super cool. It was more like the kind of place where you just rooted through a bunch of old crap that was dropped off by a bunch of bored housewives who had spent the weekend cleaning out their attics and garages.

Gwen assigns us each a job- she would find me the perfect costume, I would pick out Larry's new outfit, and Seth would follow me around holding all of the clothes and not making any snarky comments about the weird smell in here. Gwen takes off to the far side of the store, a woman on a mission, while Seth trudges along behind me as I head over to the men's section.

"So what are we thinking? Do we stick with his signature colonial look, or switch it up?"

Seth smiles and shakes his head. "I'm thinking we switch things up for poor old Larry. He's been wearing that same outfit for like, two hundred years."

"Okay." I hold up a floral button down. "How do we feel about this?"

He cringes, and I go back to rifling through the rack. A few minutes later, we finally agree on what Seth has coined the perfect professor look- a grey sweater vest, a fedora, and a skirt. We were going to go with a pair of khakis but decided to be a little more strategic, since statue Larry couldn't actually move his legs.

Gwen runs over, tossing everything from my hands into Seth's arms. She's smiling like she just hit the used costume jackpot. "Okay, so it was looking pretty grim in the costume section but I've narrowed it down to the two most promising options."

Gwen steers me over to the change-room, where she's hung up the costumes. She takes a seat in one of the chairs outside of the curtain and Seth drops into the one next to her.

Hanging in the change-room as promised are a couple of ratty old Halloween costumes. One is a cow, complete with udders and a pretty impressive butt pad. The other looks like some kind of a sexy pirate. Deciding to save the more scandalous option for last, I slip on the massive cow-print bodysuit. Adjusting the butt pad takes a minute, and I can hear Seth and Gwen chatting while they wait. I check my reflection and can't help but wonder why anyone ever thought that this was the costume of their dreams- I feel like a hot air balloon, and the udder placement is definitely questionable. I pull the curtain open and step out, spinning slowly so that my friends can get a real good look.

"Well? Do we have a winner?"

"I'm gonna say no?" Seth chokes out a laugh. "Though I'm suddenly craving a glass of milk."

"Yeah, I figured this one would be the runner-up." Gwen shakes her head, ushering me back into the change-room.

The pirate costume is pretty skimpy and smells like it had probably never been washed in its lifetime. But it fit pretty good over my jean shorts and was definitely enough of a costume to qualify toward another check on the list. I adjust the top one last time before I step out again.