The Legend List

Chapter Six

Since Seth- like most teenagers I know- doesn't carry excessive amounts of toilet paper in his trunk at all times, we have to make a pit stop at the supermarket for supplies. After spending most of our money on ice cream and Larry's new wardrobe, we didn't exactly have a fortune left to waste on toilet paper- especially since the cheapest pack was almost six dollars.

"I have to wonder what kind of psychos are out there buying the one-ply rolls." Seth adds one more pack.

"Uh, exactly how large is the house you plan to vandalize?"

Seth had been weirdly secretive the whole drive over here. He says he knows exactly which house we're going to hit, but even after a dozen questions from Gwen and I about which one it was, he wasn't letting anything slip.

"I'm not telling, that'll ruin the fun."

"If we've got time for a brief pit-stop, I think I can save us a few dollars." Gwen wheels the empty cart back toward the front of the store as Seth and I follow.

Gwen tells Seth to drive to her house, and I can't believe I didn't think of this right away. We walk into the Weissener's house, and head into the living room.

Mr. Weissener is sitting in his recliner as usual, so concentrated on his crossword that he only glances up long enough to smile at us before his nose is buried back in his book. Mrs. Weissener jumps up, pulling Seth and I in for a hug. I squeeze her back, the smell of her floral perfume making me smile.

"What're you kids going here? I thought you were doing your little sleep over thing." She fluffs up her curls- she's been doing her hair the same way since we were kids, one of the only people other than my Nana who I've ever seen sleep in their curlers. While Gwen didn't exactly inherit her Mom's love for small towns and book clubs, she was definitely the one who inspired Gwen's appreciation for an editorial-worthy head to toe look.

"We need to make a quick trip to the bunker."

The 'bunker' is a room down in the Weissener's basement dedicated to Mrs. W's stash of groceries. She's a big fan of coupons, and the bunker is definitive proof of that.

Seth looks toward the kitchen, taking a deep breath., "What's that smell?"

"Debbie's cooking chili. An old family recipe." Mr. Weissener smiles at Seth over his glasses that are halfway down his nose.

"Are you hungry, honey?" Mrs. Weissener snaps into Super Mom mode, and rushes over to Seth. "Do you want me to get you something?"

Since Seth had skipped out on the Twinkies and the Colossal Sundae, he hadn't realized how hungry he was. I've tasted the Weissener chili, and he has no idea what kind of a delicious treat he was in for. Gwen and I decide that while Seth is busy in the kitchen- no doubt trying to eat everything Mrs. Weissener is going to pack onto his plate- we'll head down to the bunker and grab the toilet paper.

Down in the bunker, I'm once again surprised- less by the insane amount of stuff that's stocked from floor to ceiling, and more by the way that Mrs. Weissener has managed to organize it all. It looks like a miniature grocery store right here in the basement. It's been a while since I've been down here- Gwen and I used to always sneak in for the good snacks during sleep overs while her parents were busy cleaning up after dinner. Gwen leads the way to the back of the room, where a giant mountain of toilet paper is stacked.

"You know what's great?" I smile at Gwen over a stack of Charmin. "You'll never have to buy groceries in the city. Just bring an extra suitcase when you come home and you can fill it up down here to bring it back with you."

"That's the plan." Gwen says, grabbing a few packs of toilet paper. "I wish the end of summer would get here faster. I can't wait to live in a place where there's always something going on- did you know you can visit the actual fabric store from Project Runway? And it's three storeys. I wonder if they'd just let me move in there if I pay rent."