DM #1: Declan Andrada

Kabanata 19

Kabanata 19

Going Back

Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin ako makapaniwalang tuluyan na akong nakapasok sa isang unibersidad dito sa Maynila. Pinapangarap ko lang noon ang makapasok sa isang unibersidad kaya hindi ako makapaniwalang nagtagumpay ako sa pinapangarap ko lang noon.

I even asked Declan if it's really true. I'm grateful because even with the big problems that I've been through, I'm still blessed with everything I receive each day.

Nagising ako na wala si Declan sa tabi ko. Dahan-dahan akong bumangon at agad siyang namataan na nakatalikod sa banda ko habang nakaharap sa balcony. He's talking to someone with his hand on his hips.

He's topless, even when he's half-naked he still looks ruthless. Maybe it's because of his wide shoulder and back muscles. It flexed even when he's just moving a bit. He's tall and muscular.

Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at lumapit sa kanya. I thought he wouldn't notice me but he looks back while he's listening on the phone.

I hugged him gently, trying not to disturb him. He wrapped one of his arms on my waist as I leaned on his chest.

I'm not sleepy when I stood up but now that I'm on his chest, I want to sleep more.

"I'm not sure, let me ask her first, Ma."

Napatingala ako nang marinig ang sinabi niya. I met his dark eyes that are also looking at me.

Is it Doña Solanna? Bigla akong kinabahan sa hindi malamang kadahilanan.

"Yes, she just woke up."

Sandali siyang nakinig sa kabilang linya bago ibinaba ang tawag.

"Ang Doña?" usisa ko.

His jaw moved a bit.

"Yes,"

"Bakit?"

"She wants to invite you on her birthday,"

Hindi ako nakasagot. I'm not sure if I'm ready to face her after the issue. Wala akong kasalanan pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasan ang mahiya dahil sa nangyari. It takes me a lot of courage to agree on that.

Kahit ngayon, hindi ko pa rin naiiproseso ang katotohanan tungkol sa nakaraan nila kasama si Mama. Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi nagbago ang tingin ko sa kanila.

The fact that they hurt my mother, hurts me too. I'm not in the situation but I can feel how much pain she experienced. I'm not strong enough to handle that kind of love.

"It's okay. She's not forcing you," he whispered as he kissed the top of my head.

I leaned on his chest and didn't say anything. Tahimik niyang kinuha ang cellphone at may tinawagan.

Ilang linggo na ang lumipas pero hindi ko pa rin nahahanap si Mama. Sa ilang buwan na naghahanap ako, nagsisimula na akong maghinala na hindi siya sa Maynila nagpunta.

I'm with my mother for years but I have never heard anything about her relatives. Kaya wala rin akong ideya kung saang lugar o probinsya ang posible niyang pinuntahan.

"We're not going."

Awtomatiko akong napatingin dahil sa sinabi niya sa kabilang linya.

That's her mother! Ako lang naman ang tinatanong kaya bakit kasali siya?

"Ano?" mariin na bulong ko.

He looked down on me boredly.

"She's not ready. Don't force her."