A book of the cloud 9 stories

pilot

-That's actually a cubic zirconia knockoff,- explained Amy.Amy was a rather short,middle aged,latina woman with hazelnut brown eyes and long, thick black hair that fixed itself nicely into position.She wore a red checkered shirt on top of which she had her cloud 9,bright blue vest.-Its called PlastiClear!- she exclaimed with a fake smile.

-What happened to the $8 ones?- asked Bo annoyed.Bo,who was only a few inches taller than Amy,was a red head teeneager,who had a rather unpleasant mustache and was usually seen wearing an oversized polo shirt and a gold chain around his neck.

-We're all sold out of those,sorry.- explained Amy unapologetically,-But this one's only $2 more.- she added in an upbeat tone that surprised her.

-I get it,you advertise the cheap jewlery to get the suckers in the door and then you push the expensive stuff.- moaned Bo

-I wouldn't use the word "suckers" ,or "expensive" or "jewelry".-

-Fine,uhhh,I gotta stand in line for cigarettes anyhow.-

Amy raised her hands in agreement,gently packed the ring and added-Great!I hope you and your fiancée are very happy together...-she shouted,-And that you don't procreate!-

By the jewelry counter stood an older man,he had a bright blue shirt,brown trousers,a tie with clouds and a badge that said"Hi I'm Glenn,Manager".Upon Amy's request for a mental health break,he didn't even think.he just let her go.Happily,Amy took off her cloud 9 vest headed towards the break room.The lights seemed to center at her,but maybe it was just her idea,today was just like yesterday....and it is not like anything would change it!

Meanwhile,In patio,Dina,the assistant manager,that wore a cloud 9 polo, tight fitting jeans and always had her straight,brown hair in a neat ponytail at the back of her head,was about to employ a very handsome man,he had great hair but had clothes that looked like he just came out of an elderly man's closet.-Just checking over your new hire forms.American citizen,nice.No dependents.Me neither,unless you count my birds.-she laughed-Just doesn't say anywhere on here if you've got a girlfriend?-she asked with a face that had no emotion.Whilst the man looked at her confused for a second,and then reluctantly,yet confused added, -Oh,um...then also no.- He stared at her for a second but then realised it probably meant he got the job,right?

Amy confidently walked down the hardware aisle with her vest in her hand wondering if she would ever leave this job,or at least she did until she saw a customer ,rudely, take the middle roll of toilet paper causing the whole pyramid to fall down.-Smart.We always keep the best rolls right in the middle.- she sarcastically shouted at the customer.Her eyes looked tired and full of annoyance.Yet out of instinct,she threw her vest on to the top of the pile and started picking the rolls up,almost immediately though,a caucasion man with very nice hair ran over to her shouting, -Oh,wait.No,no,no.Let me help you with that.-

Surprised,she replied-Oh,no,no,no.I'm fine- she knew it was just another guy who was trying to find a one night stand.-You go..-

The guy cut her off shouting,-It's fine,I,like I work here,it's like my job to help customers,so-

Customers? she thought.Since when did Glenn hire this guy and how does he not know I'm his boss?-You work here?-she repeated.-Since when?-

-oh,erm,since right now,they just hired me.I know i'm not the type of guy who would work in a place like this ,but it is actually my first day!You were probably so surprised,like WHAT? HIM? What's he doing cleaning up toilet paper?I think it's because i have this very intelligent and educated ,self cultured aura about me,but i don't wanna sound condescending,you know?-

Amy nervously laughed.

Behind them,a pregnant teenager,also in a cloud 9 vest,with a purple streak of hair was struggling to stack some metal kitchenware.She ran over to Amy and the guy shouting-Hey,can I run out for 2 minutes?This thing is kicking my bladder like it owes him money.-

The handsome guy was about to answer but got cut off by Amy-yes,of course,I'll take Carly off express.And Vivian can bag so take as long as you need ,Cheyenne.-

Cheyenne looked at her thankfully and ran off.

The guy looked at Amy surprised and then realised. He looked as if he just found out that his limited edition car got graffitied by a bunch of drunk teens.

-Little Tip:Don't let the over workers here know how much better than them you are.They hate that.I don't know why?Maybe because it sounds condescending.Welcome.-She proudly said,put her vest on and walked off with a satisfied grin on her face.He looked at her as she walked past and was about to introduce himself but instead,because he was leaning on the toilet paper pyramid,he fell down with all the toilet paper rolls.Then stood up straight in the pile but a lot of customers were already surrounding him ,trying to find out what happened.Amy quietly laughed. 

Later in the break room,there was a lot of employees waiting for Dina's announcement,Dina and Glenn were standing at the front of the room whilst the rest of the employees were somewhat seated on rusty,metal chairs.Dina waited for silence and then began-Alright campers,I've got an important announcement.-She lifted up a blue packet of decongestant and explained-This is your garden variety generic decongestant.This is crystal meth,okay?- she lifted up a small bag of meth.Finally the back row lifted up their heads from the phones and someone at the front was anxiously taking notes in a small notebook.-The tweakers use decongestants to make meth.So stop selling them this,so they can't make meth.-

Suddenly,Cheyenne interrupted,her face stuffed with bagels-That guy told me he had a really bad cold so I thought he needed those 35 boxes.-Everyone looked over at Cheyenne ,some without expression,some falling asleep and one guy still writing notes.Dina looked furiously at Cheyenne.To avoid an argument,Glenn interrupted,his squeaky voice started-Let's thank Dina for the helpful tip of the day!- Everyone started clapping.A guy in a wheelchair with a beard that he probably had instead of his hair interrupted-Am I the only one that thinks it is weird that she walks around with a bag of crystal meth?- No one answered so Glenn carried on.In the background you could hear the good haired guy trying to apologise to Amy with no success.

-Anyway,I am so proud to welcome two new angels to our cloud 9 family.Why don't you introduce yourselves?- said Glenn excitedly.

The good haired guy,stood up ,kind of coughed and raised his voice-Okay.Hello everyone.I am Jonah.- He pointed to his badge,no one really listened apart of the guy in a wheelchair who seemed to have a liking to this new guy.-And I am...I am excited to be here.This is gonna be fun,so...-

Jonah didn't even manage to sit down yet and already another guy stood up,he was a Philippines guy with super large glasses,angry eyes and nicely done hair.His vest fitted perfectly and was most likely the teacher's pet at school.He spoke really fast -My name is Mateo Fernando Aquino Liwang,and I am here to make something for myself.- Jonah awkwardly stood there whilst Mateo started singing-Spread my wings!who!-Everyone looked super confused at him.He just carried on,-See how far I can fly.Thank you,thank you,thank you - he smiled and sat down after that Jonah awkwardly added to his speech and by the time he sat down only 4 people were listening,the guy in the wheelchair,Dina ,Glenn and Amy.

To break the awful silence,Glenn started again,-Now,I used to end these meetings with some wisdom from the good book.- He picked up the Bible ,showed it to everyone and then put it back down. -But then someone reported me to corporate he looked at Dina with an annoyed expression on his face.

Smiling,Dina firmly answered,-Heck yeah,I did.Look i'm a christian too but in these four walls my Bible is The Employee Code of Conduct!-She lifted a thick book of rules titled "The Ultimate Employee Code Of Conduct" and pointed at it.They looked at themselves with hatred and suddenly they got into an argument of who prays for who more.When they finally finished,Glenn did a different appreciation welcome,he lifted up his phone and after a few missed tries he finally played the "Jurassic Park"theme song and gave an inspirational speech over it.