Randomly Me

Pei Shou Yi and Yu Zhen Xuan

Shou Yi walks to the wounded man who sits silently on the porch of his closed cafe with a first aid box, he feels unpleasant but his consciousness as a doctor forces him to not abandon the man, the one that he been mean and ignored for a few weeks now. 

Shou Yi sits beside the man, sigh and took the hand, clean the wound, then put medicine on it

"I wish I didn't mind your business when I met you," said Shou Yi coldly

"Gao Shi De" Shou Yi stop his motion and look up at Zhen Xuan face, frowning

"How do you know him?" said Shou Yi

"If I were him, you wouldn't feel annoyed, right?" said Zhen Xuan, sadness fill his tone

"That's enough" Shou Yi scolded at him

Zhen Xuan smile with his teary eyes

"You like him" Zhen Xuan lean forward and press his lips on Shou Yi's who froze, for a good minute, before he pulls himself away and continues his words

"Because you like him, no matter how hard I try, you won't like me, right?"

Shou Yi look down and continue to treat the wound

"I love you, for all these 12 years, I was searching for you, and I never loved anyone else but you"

"So please, don't push me away. I get it, that no matter how long I waited, you will never return my feeling"

"All I want is to be able to see you, even for afar, even though you can only show me your annoyed face, it's enough for me"

"So please, allow me to love you, in my own way" 

Shou Yi keeps his face down as if he can't hear anything. He always knows and aware of his mental state illness, It's not that he didn't want to open his heart to Zhen Xuan, he been aware of Zhen Xuan deep feeling toward him, he been aware too of Zhen Xuan mental illness, his depression, his paranoia, that why he left 12 years ago, not because he hates him, he know Zhen Xuan need a lot of love, attention, care, sincerity, all the thing that he can't give to Zhen Xuan because of his own flaws. He can't feel sympathy for anyone, at all, he lacks in emotion, he numb to any emotion, affection and he didn't have the capability to love another.

That why he left, that why he tried his best to push Zhen Xuan away because Zhen Xuan is the first person that shakes his heart, that draws his attention, but he knows it's not enough, he, is not good enough. Zhen Xuan deserves someone much better than him. 

Zhen Xuan gets up from his seat, his teary eyes gaze softly at Shou Yi ice-cold face, and smile weakly

"Thank you for treating my wound, I better get going, it already late, I have to work in the morning"

"Good night, Pei Shou Yi" Zhen Xuan walks away, leaving Shou Yi who can only look at his back, until Zhen Xuan has completely vanished from his eyes sight 

"Good night, Yu Zhen Xuan," said Shou Yi, whispered to the night breeze

"If you don't want me, just leave me alone."

"If you care about me, don't leave me behind"

-Yu Zhen Xuan 

We Best Love, Fighting Mr. 2nd

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