Don't Leave Me

Chapter 31

Matteos POV

My angel is gone for a week now. I miss her so much. The meeting a week ago was good. We're all working together and getting closer to finding the location where they hold Emily hostage.

The past week has been the worst time of my life. I don't know if she's still alive. I can't sleep. I barley eat. Everything's just shitty. And that's how I realized that I can't life without her.

Looking in the mirror I saw deep and dark bags under my eyes. They were dark red from the lack of sleep. Who cares how I look like? The only person I don't want to see me like this isn't here anyways.

Today has marked my lowest point. My heart aches more and more every second she's gone. Russo has not given us any living sign of her. But I hold on. I have to hope. That's what she has taught me. To never give up hope even in the darkest times.

Leaving our room I went into hers. She still had all of her beauty stuff and clothes in here. If I could decide I would throw everything in our room and never let her go here to get ready again. She can get ready in our room and give me enough time to admire her.

When I was about to turn around and walk away an object caught my attention. It was under her bed. Walking there I picked it up and held her sketchbook in my hands. A small smile made its way to my lips.

Oh Emily. You said you hid it but let's be honest this is not a good hiding place. Please forgive me but I have to look what you drew on our date.

With those thoughts in my head I opened her sketchbook and flipped the pages. I already seen the first drawings. Turning around another page my eyes went wide. It was a drawing of me sleeping in our bed. She drew every detail of my face admiringly precise. On the other side of the page was the lake I took her too and the beautiful flower meadow.

Then I flipped to the next page. My eyes immediately started to water. There was another drawing of me. This time I was laying on the picnic blanket staring up at her. On the other side was a drawing of me holding her in my arms. I immediately reached out and traced my fingers over the page. Tears were uncontrollably rolling down my cheeks. The title of the drawing broke my heart into pieces: 'You make me feel safe'

And then her words were ringing in my head. "I only draw things that I find beautiful and that I love. That's all you need to know."
Does that mean she loves me? Could someone other than my mom actually love me?

The thought alone made my tears roll down with much more force. After a few minutes I was able to calm down. My eyes were now hurting and I went into my office.

Sitting down on my chair I turned on my laptop and started contacting the Russians to see if there's any progress on our hunt. Not to my surprise there was a knock on my door. No one here respects my wish of being alone.

"What?!", I shouted with pure rage in my voice. The door opened and my parents entered the office.
"Son, you should get some rest. You look horrible.", my father said.
"Why would you care? Besides I'm not going to sleep at 5pm.", I answered angrily.

"Matteo please. I'm worried. At least eat with us.", my mom intervened.
"You don't get it.", I muttered.
"We do.", my father said which caused me to scoff.
"Right. As if you do.", I said.

"Matteo listen to me. I was a bad father. I mistreated you all your life. But truth is I-I love you. And I care about. After Federico's death I turned cold and emotionless. I acted as if I don't care about you because I was scared to loose another son that I love. It always has been an act.", he stated and paused for a moment to put a hand on my shoulder.