Eighteen {Harry styles fanfiction}

chapter 7

HARRYS POV

After my mum had me leave Lydia's house to go out with Charlene, I drove her to Viva el Amor, a rather nice Mexican restaurant nearby. We got seated and the man who was serving us, lean and tall with long, dark hair in a ponytail and a mustache, asked us what we wanted to drink.

"Iced Tea," Charlene spoke at him, looking down at the menu, not giving him any respect.

"Just water," I said, making eye contact, not wanting to be as rude as Charlene, "please," I added hoping my slight emphasis on the word would hint Charlene on her lack of manners.

"So last night at that bar a couple blocks down," Charlene started to tell me,

...

But then I zoned out, hearing none of the things she said.

What am I even doing here?

How were Charlene and I even still dating? Why? We had nothing in common.

I was sitting here in this restaurant with the girl who was supposed to be my number one priority, the girl who I should be giving my full attention to, but I was ignoring her. All I was thinking about was Lydia.

I hope my mum is being helpful. I know she is.

Why was I sitting here with my girlfriend at a nice lunch, but wanting to be with my best friend cleaning?

A RULE ABOUT LOVE: When you truly love someone, their presence is the thing that matters, not the occasion.

I'd rather clean dishes with someone I love than go out for lunch with someone I'm not even sure about anymore.

I was still zoning Charlene out and trying to untangle the ball of confusing thoughts in my mind.

I had been ignoring Charlene's text messages lately, I was never interested in what she had to say...and even when she's right in front of me I'm thinking about another girl.

"Just friends"

This is so wrong. I am giving nothing in this relationship. This relationship isn't fair- to me or Charlene.

I knew what I had to do. How could it have taken me so long to realize this is what I need to do?

My palms were sweaty and I was nervously fiddling with my fingers.

".....you should've been there! We were all so drunk, Melissa started to..."

"Charlene," I cut her off, "I'm sorry I can't do this anymore."

I stood up. Most of the color from Charlene's face faded to a cold white, her eyes staring widely, her jaw dropped in shock. I pulled out enough money for her to pay for her meal and set it on the table, in front of her. Without waiting for her to say something or saying another word myself, I turned and walked out the door of Viva el Amor, not looking back.

As I walked to my car I was shaking.

I'm such a bad person.

I can't believe I did that.

Why did I do that?

I felt guilty for walking out on Charlene, but I couldn't help but also feel like a swarm of heavy feelings of confusion had just burst open my chest and flew away like birds flying out of a cage.

I'm free from Charlene. I'm free from her constant partying habits, her clinginess...

I'm free from the cage.

I smirked a little as I started my car.

Barely getting time to feel relief, I began to worry about what would happen next.

My mind was whirling,

Much more

Much more

I've felt this for so long

I can't hide it anymore

Does she feel the same?

Oh no...

Just friends?

God no.

I knew what I was about to do would be a risk, but I had never wanted to take a risk so badly in my entire life.

Now here I am driving. Nervous, driving, trying to find the right words..

Driving- not to my house- but to my home.