WASTED!

(4) The Past

You know, I used to live in a house at a beachside with my happy family - my dad, mom, brother and Shiro, my cat. Though I could say that I had a far better childhood than than some other people, it changed afterwards. My adolescence was as hectic and disturbing as how happy my childhood was. The family didn't stay happy like before. There were daily conflicts, curses and things that an early teen shouldn't witness. My brother, a little elder to me, always stayed beside me and tried to protect me from the bitter harsh reality as long as he could. But for how long? How long can a person run away from the reality?

Actually, I knew how things changed and what the reason was. I tried to remain stable as I was but the balance broke when I heard my mother shouting from the other room...

[FLASHBACK]

''You stay here with your filthy money! I will go away, far from your reach, far from this HELL! Goodbye!''

''Yeah, go! Don't come back weeping and starving!'' he (the father) snapped back.

''Yes.. I will.. I would rather starve to death than fill my appetite with your filthy money!'' she cried.

''Take your mistakes along with you!'' he shouted yet again.

At the age of 12, many would not have understood the meaning of 'mistake' but I did. We, my mom, me, and my brother, left the house with big luggages in each of our hands. It was the middle of a night of winter weeks and the contrast between our warm home and the chillingly cold outside made the weather feel harsher; both in sense of love and temperature. Oh! And we could never call that place 'our home' ever again in fear of hurting mom.

Two weeks later, a well suited man knocked at the door of our rented room (if we could even call that small dusty attic a room), and gave my brother some papers while explaining him something. I could not understand much of that but from how the colour quickly drained from his face, I could decipher that it wasn't something good.

_____

''Mom!'' my brother wailed as he was forcefully pulled into the cab by my father. Every fibre in my being cried to free him off my dad but my mom told me not to. She told me about some deal between her and dad due to which my brother had to unfortunately go back to our old home. My childish head and heart couldn't understand what she was talking about. It only understood that I was being separated from my brother, who was the only one who kept me sane in this insane circumstances. It only understood the pain that came along with the separation and the wound it made in me.

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''Can we not go back to living happily like before?'' I asked my mom as I watched the cab leave from the window.

My mom's glare answered everything.

I didn't dare say those words after that day as I couldn't hurt my mom. I was enough of a burden for her in addition to the unpaid rent of three months and my increasing school fees. She worked at different part-time jobs all day to make a living. The bags under her eyes were heavier than the one I used to bring to school. I asked her once if I could be of any help to our family financially by working part-time jobs as well but she refused until I was 17.

I got a job as an accountant at a department store near my school after seeking for a job here and there for a few months. The wage was sufficient so that my mom could finally depend on me and rest. Oh, if my stars were so fortunate!

My mom passed away just weeks later than I started earning. I remember hugging the last piece of memory from her and crying; her favourite piano.

Months passed and I closed myself off from people. Even when my dad came to give condolences and his fake gratitude, I didn't even see his shadow. My brother sat behind my door all night, trying to meet and comfort me but something had changed. The reality that he tried so hard to keep me away from, was finally exposed to me. Something changed in me too. I don't know what but people started calling me names. They said how I had a problem in my head and kept their children away from my sight. I needed to pull myself up from that place so that I could not do anything immature but the ways of pulling myself up were immature as well. I started intoxicating myself in drugs and music. I changed into a monster and I didn't know if I felt bad about it or not. Everything seemed bleak. It seems bleak even now though.

Thank you. I really needed this. Thank you for listening to my bullshit.

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I finished listening to the recorder as I felt my eyes brimming with tears blurring my vision.

''Miss Y/L/N, as soon as I heard that Jimin is opening up to someone in the hospital finally, I drove here to meet him/her. Thank you, really. I always want the best for my friend, even if he doesn't quite call me as one, but he really needs someone to care for him.'' said the person who claimed to be Jimin's friend.

''Can you tell me how you became friends?'' I said sniffing. Shit. I shouldn't be so sensitive or by the time I have a lot of patients I would be crying an ocean.

''Miss-''

''You can call me Y/N.'' I said smiling.

''OK, I'm Jung Hoseok, you can call me by J-Hope. When Jimin was still studying, I opened a cafe just opposite of the department store he worked in. When he felt too tired from work, he would come to the cafe, look at the menu and sit still. Then he would go out without ordering anything.''

''Why would he do that?'' I asked curiously.

''Maybe he couldn't afford. One day I gave him a cake myself. He was so flustered with the sudden kindness that I almost felt like laughing hard right then. Day by day as I started to try to open him up, I found out that he has many hidden scars. Few months later, he came up to me himself and started the conversation. I was happy that he finally is taking me as a friend but that wasn't it.''

''Don't you think your nickname is too weird?'' I said, earning a glare from him.

''Whatever,'' he sighed and continued, ''That day, he said to me that he is quitting his job at the store. He tried to give me money for giving him beverages from my side but I didn't accept anything. He asked, 'what would you accept then?' and I had told him to tell me his story, the story that had haunted him for many years, and still is. I did record the first part without him knowing but during the last, when he requested me so much to not tell anyone about that part, I did not record thereafter.''

''So you had planned his therapy sessions since that day?'' I asked.

''Yes. I didn't want to lose such a talented and genuine fella like him.'' He said showing me the purest of smiles in all over the world. I felt like an unfilial child on this earth in front of a nice person like him.

''Please bring him back Y/N, I have high hopes for you.'' He said with chocked up tears.

''I sure will.'' I said, switching on the recorder to listen to his past all over again.

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The longest chapter till now 😁
I hope you enjoyed it. I'm really bad at cliffhangers but I will try to learn to improve myself.

Thank you,
Your a/n ♥