countryhumans oneshots but they're terrible.

it's underrated organization time

shenanigans with the organizations.

"D-dad?" V4 whimpered. "There's a monster under my bed. It's smelly and scary and huge and scary!"

He heard something shift under him. His heartbeat increased and he started to sweat, the liquid dripping down his face. "D-dad! I-i think I h-heard it m-move! H-HELP ME!" he desperately screeched.

In the bottom of the bunk bed, EFTA sighed and covered her face with a mountain of blankets.

"Why do you hate me, brother?"

-----------------------------------

EFTA studied a grinning V4 with a quizzical expression on her face. "You look overly happy." she said, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. "Did something good happen, or-"

"Can't I smile whenever I feel like it?" V4 replied, still smiling. NATO walked by with a disconcerted look on his face. He leaned towards EFTA and pulled her away from V4. Slowly but softly, he whispered, "EU tripped in the parking lot."

--------

Of course, EFTA's phone just had to die at the best times; now she couldn't even look at the time. Writing a hundred-page treaty by hand proved to be quite a challenge for her, but at least she used to have her phone to entertain her. It was like when EFTA had some music playing in the background, it seemed like she got the most work done, twice as fast as she normally would. Now time seemed to fly fast wherever she even set her pen to paper.

She looked up from the kitchen table to see a squinting EU, dressed in nothing but a flimsy robe and slippers.

He narrowed his eyes even more than he had before. "Why are you awake?" he rasped. EFTA ignored his question; it was probably best that she didn't answer. "What time is it?"

EU, now wide awake, shrugged. "I dunno, hand me the trombone."

"Aight." Weird request, but okay. EFTA leaned back into her chair, searching for a certain cabinet. Once she found it, she gripped the handle and pulled it so a trombone came tumbling out. Skillfully (this was second nature to her), she caught the trombone by its bell, and threw it at EU, who caught it without looking.

He held the mouth piece to his mouth, inhaling deeply. The trombone bellowed, almost making the ground shake. Through all this, EFTA heard a rustling from upstairs. V4 stormed downstairs, fire in his eyes. "WHO"S PLAYING THE FUCKING TROMBONE AT TWO AM?"

EU, nodding, turned to EFTA. "It's two AM."

------

"Fun fact," NATO announced. "When you try to eat pineapple it tries to eat you."
EU gasped yet again. He was already at a loss of words from V4 almost dying, and now this? "Whahahahhahwhwhaha?"
"Fun fact: M&M stands for Mars and Murrie." NATO continued. He barreled out the facts, one by one, like a cannon blasting out cannonballs.
"Fun fact: The first ever oranges weren't orange. They were green."
"Fun Fact: Scotland has 421 words for snow."
"😀," EU said, holding his hand up to shield himself from NATO.

-------

A younger country, must have been about Weimar's age, burst into the room, screaming his lungs out. A name tag adorned his chest, 'America' printed sloppily on it. He took AU by the shoulders, shaking him vigorously. "Your classmate is repeating everything you say!" Someone snickered from the back.

A nonchalant America continued. "ME! ME! ME! He's eATING ME!"

EFTA had to cover her mouth with her hands to muffle her laughs. All the while, AU was laughing hysterically, even though it kind of hurt to be shaken as hard as this.
In the back of the class, EU leaned over the desks to reach COE and whispered, "Is he ok? Is he-"
"Probably."
"Oh, my bad."

------

EU raised his hand.
"Yes?" UN asked. Their eye ever so slightly twitched.
He pointed to the whiteboard. "If the mom has red hair and the dad has brown hair, then why does the kid have blond hair?"
NATO immediately replied without missing a beat. "I don't know, the mailman."
EU looked at NATO with confusion written across his face.
Then he gasped. "Wait, wha-"

------

EU raised his hand once again. "I have a question."
"Yes?"
"What would happen if you ate a snail?"
"W-what?"
"What would happen if you eat a snail?" he repeated.
"What would happen if I ate a snail- what?" UN paused. "I'm at a loss of words. How is this relevant to what we're talking about?" They chuckled to themselves.

------

EFTA sighed, observing the debate that was unfolding in front of her. "I should have never brought up the metal tacos."

"They just hurt the teeth," V4 argued. "That's the downside."

"Thanks. Visegrad." NATO said, almost sarcastically.

V4 ignored this and continued to discuss the metal tacos. "Yet wooden ones give splinters. Which hurts more."

"We would have splinters all over." AU pondered.

"Iron efficiency," EU cracked a small smile, chuckling at his own joke, and placed his hand on his head to make a point.

EFTA looked over at UN, who, as always, had that large grin stretched across their face. However, their left eye was beginning to twitch ever so slightly, more than had ever before.

"Um, guys-"

------

AU stared blankly at the clock, bored. Like, extremely bored.
"5 minutes," she said, right when EU was about to speak.
"No, my job," the other whispered, ice lacing his tone. "5 minutes :)," EU then announced to the room, a smug smile framing his face. AU groaned. "Well, I took your job."
"No, my job is my job."
">: )," AU smiled.
EU's face morphed into one of worsening distress. ":(," he replied.