Hiroomi Tosaka: The Chemistry Of Us

CHAPTER #8

[Mild Mature Content] 

He rolled them over, so Mizuki was under him. She didn't resist. Hiroomi had most of his weight on one side and supported by his arm. Looking at her through the light cast by the lava lamp, he searched her eyes and then lowered his face for a kiss. Taking his time, his lips caressed hers and then when her mouth opened, his tongue entered to dance with hers. He felt her body move against his, but curbed his desire to respond back. He'd tease her and then back off, to see what she'd do. While his mouth encouraged passion, his other hand's fingers dragged down the back of her neck, before moving into her hair. His kisses went from her lips, to her neck and she arched her back under his manipulations, breathing a little harsher. He was turning her on and soon she wouldn't want to stop. Just when she was about to push him away, he rolled over onto his back.

"I didn't come over to seduce you, if that's what you're thinking."

"I know you didn't. I wanted to kiss you too.... One day I won't let you stop either, but I'm not ready yet. And I think I should tell you about my ex, before we get too serious." She rolled so her back was facing him.

He moved to spoon her, careful that when he put his arm over her, that it wasn't resting on her stomach. "Do you want to tell me now?" There was silence, as he waited for her to decide. "Did he ever force you?"

She laced her fingers through the hand that was from the arm holding her, then took a deep breath. "Sometimes. The first year with him was good, although technically you could probably say that when he took my virginity, I wasn't really willing. I told him to stop, literally and he ignored me. I hated every minute of it, felt like I was being murdered." Mizuki took a deep breath and then let out her truth. "He was very controlling and took what he wanted, when he wanted. Eventually I expected him to listen to me too and then things got bad. It took me four years with him, before I found myself again and the courage to not bend to his will. There was no trust, no communication other than him telling me what to do. I left, when he started being more abusive; both verbally and sometimes physically. I had nothing, but I know how to live with nothing, so it was better than being with him. I lost myself, I didn't know who I was or what I wanted, other than to escape him. It took me two years to find my confidence and as you have discovered, to this day I'm still working on being me."

"I'm sorry that you went through that and felt so alone. No real man would ever hurt a woman. He controlled and was abusive to you, because he was a looser and knew it. You're so strong for moving forward after all that, many can't leave the bad things in their past behind. You not only left him behind, but became an amazing, caring and giving person."

"Thank you for saying that Hiroomi and appreciating me. But now you know why I always stop, when we become more intimate. It's not that I'm scared of you, but... damn, I just don't know how to explain it."

He kissed her arm, then her neck and cheek. "It's the unknown and you're conditioned to expect something bad to happen. Truthfully, if you haven't been with a guy in a long time, it might hurt again when you have sex,  with whomever you choose to have as your partner." He paused so she absorbed what he said, then added, "but at any point that we get to that stage, or at any time, you just have to tell me to stop and I will."

"Wont you be angry? Won't I be a cock tease or worse?"

Gently he explained, "I'll be frustrated initially, but like I said before if you don't want to do something, you shouldn't. I won't be angry, because stopping is never wrong. Sex and everything leading up to that is about sharing and expressing how you're feeling with your partner. It's about wanting to be one and in the most intimate, raw way. For me, it's not just a physical release, but an emotional connection. Does that make sense?"