August [j.p]

035- And you find something to wrap your noose around

What do you sing on your drive home?
Do you see my face in the neighbor's lawn?
Does she smile?
Or does she mouth, "Fuck you forever"?
-
mad woman

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Trauma keeps you in a loop of your past. You'll be 18 and finally happy and then something from your past shows up. And it feels like all of the progress has been for nought.

"Augustine?" James asked confused, staring at his bride.

Did he even know her at all?

"Don't call me that." She whipped her head around to glare at him poisonously "That's not my name."

"Bullshit." James replied.

"Wait! Stop! I need to say something." Lily reiterated, desperately.

"Augustine, come here." Odille Williams held out her hand too her daughter.

"How dare you bring him here?" August hissed, her eyes narrowed and her shoulders tense.

"It's time we become a family again, time we forgive and move on Augustine." Her mother tried to soothe.

"Forgive?" August laughed bitterly, "Forgive what exactly mother? Will you finally admit it?"

"Don't speak too your mother like that." Maximillian said gruffly.

"And don't tell me what to do. And Fuck you! Fuck everyone who says I have to forgive you. 'For my sake' I worked hard for this anger. I worked hard  to love myself enough to hate you." Her breathing was rapid and her hands were shaking.

Lori and Sadie moved from their own spots underneath the arch to surround their friend, they would be a united front. James still stood dumbfounded beside her and allowed Sadie to shove him away.

"What I did made you stronger." Maximillian replied.

"I was a child." Her tone was venomous and it made goosebumps erupt on James's arms, "I didn't need too be strong, I needed to be safe."

"Augustine come." Her mother held out her hand again.

"Get out!" The girl screamed as Lori and Sadie wrapped their arms around her middle for support.

"Get out!" She shouted again as her mother and step-father refused too move.

With shaking legs and wildfire determination she stormed towards them and shoved him backwards.

"I said get out." She repeated only for the man to grab her wrist and pull her with such force James was afraid the delicate bones snapped.

"You will come with us."

"Please mom." August allowed herself to fall to the grass on her knees, the white gown soaked with mud now.

"Please don't let him back." She clung to her mother's legs.

Never had James seen her so weak and so vulnerable, so utterly worn out and defeated.

"Please mommy." She choked out the words and emotion filled James's eyes, yet her mother stood there, unfazed and uncaring.

It was Sirius who did what James wished he could, jumped up and made his way over to the spectacle.

Wrapping his own arms around her bent over body and cradling her.

"Please don't let him hurt me, please don't let him near me." She cried into his shoulder.

The statement made Maximillian flush with anger and rage as he lifted his hand, ready to grab her and do whatever it was she was so petrified of.

Lori, bless her soul, jumped in front of his upraised hand and stared him down.

"Fucking touch her, I dare you."

"I think you better leave." James finally said with more conviction than he felt.

"Get out of my garden." He continued.

"How many times must we say get out before you realize you aren't welcome." He strode over and felt his fist connect with the man's eye.

Before James could suffer his own hit August muttered an incantation.

"Imperio"

An unforgivable.

Her face showed not a shred of remorse nor regret as she made her parents walk out of the front door and away. Not allowing them back in.

Sirius felt his soul break for the girl, to be so desperate that she would resort to an unforgivable.

August felt everything around her go numb, colors were blurred and voices were muted. The song of the birds sounded like pinpricks in her ears.

"What is it you wanted to say Lily?" She asked emotionlessly.

She was still cooped up in Sirius's embrace, his warmth being her only tether to sanity.

"I don't believe right now is the best time." Lily said guiltily.

"Say it, I don't think there will ever be a good time for what I presume it is"

"August, I'm so sorry." Lily choked out coming to bend next to the girl and reaching her hand out.

"Please don't touch me." She flinched away. "Just say it and it will be done."

James swallowed thickly past the knot in his throat, how on earth did she know.

"August, let's talk about this privately."

"I don't want to be alone with you." She burst out. "I never even want to be near you again, so say it so that I can move on."

"I was unfaithful to you, with Lily." He said ashamed, avoiding the eyes of everyone.

He could not bear his mother's disappointment or Remus's shock. Sirius's anger or Lori's hatred. He wanted to go back and never even know Lily if it meant that he wouldn't have to see the acceptance on her face.

"I figured." She replied.

"How?" Lily questioned.

"It all adds up, when you first didn't write back and then suddenly, out of nowhere came back. And the awkwardness when both of us are in the room. It all finally clicked when I saw you look at her when I walked down the aisle but I thought it was nothing. Apparently it wasn't."

"August." James started "I love you and it was a mistake, one night of uncertainty and what ifs. Please don't let it ruin us." He begged.

"I want to go." August looked up at Lori and Sadie.

Her two friends nodding at her sadly before taking her from Sirius and bundling her up between them.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sirius asked still holding her hand.

"Yes please." She answered.

With a nod and one last disappointment look at James the four teenagers apperated away and took with them, James's heart.

The saying finally made sense to him. This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper.

He would've preferred it if she had shouted and lashed out. Would've preferred anything over the hollow look in her eyes