The Anatomy of a Complicated Love

The Anatomy of a Complicated Reunion

I must say, it was awkward.

I mean, here I was, looking beautiful in my stunning dress. And there was Ash.

He usually looked like he had just gotten off the plane somewhere like Paris, or Brazil. But he looked like hell. His face was paler than usual, his eyes were blood shot and wet with tears. His clothes were raggedy and wrinkled, no thought put into it.

"Ash?" I couldn't even believe that it was him, the coolness that usually radiated off of him was gone. It was hard to even look at him, but it was hard to look away.

"Kitty."

Our father's had lost interest in our conversation and were already getting down to business. I joined my father and quietly dat down at the table, trying not to stare at the blood shot eyes of the boy I thought I loved. Ash and I continued to stay silent, listening to the nonsense of business that was being exchanged.

Ash politely excused himself from the table and tapped on my shoulder, he bent down and muttered in my ear, "I need to see you, follow me."

I don't know what it was, maybe it was my loneliness, or my anger, my lack of common sense, or my need for love. But I did as he told me to. I picked my napkin from my lap and laid it on the table. Ash pulled my chair out and I slid out of it, my heels clicking on the hard wood floor as I followed him out of the restaurant and into the parking lot.

The door slammed behind us, and as Ash reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, I realized that this was a bad idea. That I should have never left my seat. I should have told him to fuck off, or something even worse. But instead, I am outside with the boy that broke my heart.

"You look really pretty tonight." Ash broken the silence and looked at me as he blew smoke in my direction, I was so used to it know a days that I didn't even react to it. "I know. I've been pretty for awhile now." I responded, my foot lightly tapping. The hair's on my arm standing up from the cold and from the wonder of what would happen next.

"I miss that."

Curiosity got the better of me, I indulged in the conversation and questioned, "Miss what?"

"How you never really have a damn. You look like your suppose to care about what people think about you, but you don't. For some odd reason, you don't care." Ash brought the cigarette to his mouth and sucked in some air, he blew it out some smoke and smiled. "I always wanted to be like that. So I act like I do. I have tons on sex, I do drugs, and girls just flock to me."

I stayed quiet, not really knowing what to say. Here he was, possibly high, baring his soul. And I didn't feel anything towards him.

I looked into the eyes of the boy I used to love, and I felt nothing. My heart did not go fluttering. My arm did not show any signs of goosebumps. My brain didn't fuzz up. I was over him. I finally was.

I walked over to him any and smiled as I got closer to him. His eyes squinted in confusion as I wrapped my hands around his neck and smashed my lips on his. Warmth exchanges from lip to lip, automatically, his tongue licked my lips, trying to grant access. I broke it off and watched as he sat stunned.

"What was that for?"

I provocatively smiled and put my hand flat on Ash's chest. His heart was softly thudding in his chest, it was faster than usual. "Can I ask you a question?" I smiled, I looked up from his chest and looked at his cloudy eyes.

"You can ask me anything." He smiles. He bends down and tries to kiss my lips, I turned my head in time for him to only get my cheek.lgactily

"Do you love me?"

He automatically took his lips off of me and smiled. "I think I do."

"Then tell me, how does it feel to love a someone who doesn't love you back?" I turned on my heel and walked away from him. No word thrown over my shoulder. Just the sickly feeling of being rejected that was buried deep in his heart dug out.

And it made me feel great.