Almost

Chapter 44: Recollect

The throaty voice that creeped out of her when she repeated herself was hard for her own ears to hear, and Nestor blinked out of existence. "Kevin?"

Registering who she was facing, she quickly lowered her wand, hiding it behind her back as excuses poured through her mind.

"You don't have to hide your wand from me, Katherine. Not anymore."

The words crashed against her, too much to unpack at once. He knew what a wand was. Knew she'd been hiding it. Knew her name wasn't Wren.

"What did you call me?" she asked, hoping her exhausted brain had simply filled in the word incorrectly.

"Katherine. Katherine Waine. Dark beer, black coffee, but cream and sugar in your vanilla almond tea."

Breathing was a chore, her chest so tight she thought it might shatter into more pieces than her shoulder or the glass ceiling of her training room.

"I don't understand," was all she could manage to choke out.

"I don't either," he answered, walking closer toward her. She could see him more clearly now in the light of the stars. He held an old metal flashlight in his hands. The light caught on the gold hoop twisted in his ear.

"I didn't understand why you let them take my memories of you," he continued. "Why you let me go so easily."

"I didn't—"

"Iz told us, that you had left abruptly. Why you took off after George came knocking on my door. Told me what had you so upset, that he'd lied to you. And I don't fault you for that. I'd be bloody pissed, too. She even told me that you didn't know what they'd done to my brain until after the fact. But I also know that you can undo memory charms. That you're really good at it. What I don't understand is why you left mine alone?"

He stepped closer towards her. Katherine knew she should feel scared, should step back, but this was Kevin. Her friend, her defender, the man who had watched sunsets at her side and held her while she cried.

"I knew who you were, even though you said your name was Wren. You have no idea how hard it was to pretend like I was meeting you for the first time. And when you came in with him..." Kevin's voice dropped at that, but he shook his head. "I hear he's a great guy. Is that why you left my brain tied up?"

She looked at him with her magic—even now, the spells remained intact.

"The worst part is that I don't even really have my mind now. I have only secondhand accounts of what happened between you and me. The things you'd told Iz, that she'd gleaned from reports. From watching us before you even knew who she was. She showed me some in that Pensieve thing. What she could, at least. But it all feels... clouded. They couldn't risk getting rid of the spells. Apparently, you have really good eyes behind those glasses."

"What do you want, Kevin?"

"I want my mind back," he said simply. "I want to remember these things myself, not just images. I want to know why it is that when you're around, even though I don't even know half of what happened between us, I still feel... pulled to you. Before they told me, I was miserable. A nightmare. Drunker than Mark on most nights. Arlo nearly left, got tired of coming in to find me sleeping in a bloody booth for no reason."

She was blinking back tears as her head spun. "I didn't know—"

"I know that," he said, softer now, still inching closer. "But you do now. They told me it's like untying a string for you, like brushing away threads of the stuff."

"Who, Kevin? Who's telling you all this?"

He didn't answer, just looked at her. "Your hair is different than when we first met."