the battles we fight | sbi

Chapter 12 - Ranboo is here and he brings angst

i kinda forgot about ranboo, but he's back now

also i've been having a bad few days so yall get angst

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Ranboo hadn't been doing the best lately. His memories had been disappearing more and more, now forgetting lots of things. It had started with simple things, like where he left his book. But over the course of a few weeks, it had become much worse. Ranboo had realized the issue when he had completely forgotten that everyone else was gone, having had a panic attack. The more he forgot, the more he tried to remember. Unfortunately, the only things that were remotely reachable in his mind seemed very interested in staying hidden.

Another thing Ranboo had started doing was writing everything down. It made it easier to get through the day, but it also helped him piece together his memories. He would have flashes of things that he had experienced, but would often forget them soon after. When he wrote them down, he could sort the flashes to try and understand what had happened to him, why he couldn't remember anything, and who he was.

"How are you doing kiddo?" Phil asked, peeking into Ranboo's open door. The teen was sitting on his bed, brows furrowed as he studied his journal and wrote things down from time to time.

"I'm okay," Ranboo replied, setting aside his memory journal and pen, "I was just sorting through things I've written down."

"Have you gotten anywhere?" Phil tilted his head, absentmindedly moving his wings slightly.

"I think I might be getting close to something," Ranboo nodded, "There seem to be underlying themes of The End, water, and running away. Lots of running away."

"Water? That can't be good," Phil frowned, eyeing the scars that ran down Ranboo's face.

"It isn't," Ranboo agreed, "Those memories are the hardest to remember and put together. It's like my brain is trying to keep it from me."

"Well, don't push yourself too hard," Phil warned, "Some things are forgotten for a reason." Ranboo nodded, remembering what Techno had said about trauma and how it could affect the memories. Phil left, letting Ranboo go back to his memory sorting. Ranboo picked the journal back up, reading over everything he had written down. He turned them into one or two sentence explanations, then tried to group them by themes. He was focusing on the water-related ones, seeing as it had the most pieces. There was mostly pain and fear, although he couldn't remember the feeling, he could relate the words to things he did remember.

ʖᒷℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ||ᔑꖎ

Ranboo jumped slightly, looking around him. The word hadn't exactly been out loud, but it had been so clear that he felt the need to check anyway. He couldn't translate the word, but he felt the emotion that came along with it. It stung in a way that didn't make sense, after all, it didn't feel like it was physical pain. It was emotional, despite that it was probably associated with water. Water and emotional pain, Ranboo wrote down, adding it to the list of water-related things.

ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ╎ᓭ ∴⍑|| ||𝙹⚍ ᓭ⍑𝙹⚍ꖎ↸リℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ℸ ̣ ∷⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ᒷ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷᒲ

That was much longer, Ranboo thought to himself, And it felt more direct. He wrote down as much as he could about the words, despite not knowing what they meant. He continued the process, although nothing else foreign came through his mind.

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"Hey Ranboo!" Tubbo greeted, walking up to Ranboo with a grin. Ranboo had been sitting in the backyard, trying to think of anything he could.

"Hello Tubbo!" Ranboo smiled back, "I've just been trying to remember things."

"Oh, how's it going big man?" Tubbo asked, he opened his mouth to say more, and probably did, but Ranboo didn't hear it. Instead, more of the words took over his mind, blocking everything out.

||𝙹⚍ ↸𝙹 リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ꖎᒷリ⊣ℸ ̣ ⍑ᓭ ||𝙹⚍∷ ᒲ╎リ↸ ∴╎ꖎꖎ ⊣𝙹 ℸ ̣ 𝙹 !¡∷𝙹ℸ ̣ ᒷᓵℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍∷ ᒲᒷᒲ𝙹∷╎ᒷᓭ. ↸𝙹 リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ꖎ𝙹𝙹ꖌ ⎓⚍∷ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ ╎リℸ ̣ 𝙹 ||𝙹⚍∷ ᒲ╎リ↸.

He clutched his head, trying to shake the feeling it had brought away. The actual words had sounded concerned, maybe a bit stern, but they felt like they were trying to push Ranboo out of his mind.

||𝙹⚍ ∴╎ꖎꖎ ꖎ𝙹ᓭᒷ ᒷ⍊ᒷ∷||ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ╎⎓ ||𝙹⚍ ꖎ𝙹𝙹ꖌ ⎓⚍∷ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷.

"Are you okay?" Tubbo's voice broke through the feeling, letting Ranboo exist in his mind without being shoved out.

"I- I think so," He replied after a moment, "It felt like something was trying to push me away or out of my head."

"Huh, that's weird," Tubbo hummed a bit, "Do you want to come look at the bees with me? Tommy wants to go train with Techno and Wilbur."

"Yeah, sure!" Ranboo shook off the lingering unwelcomeness and followed Tubbo to the bees, trying to hold onto the words so he could write them down later.

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we're going to pretend i didn't forget to post this very short bit of ranboo angst