My Light!

My Light - Last Part

My Light!
Part 2

I open my WhatsApp and see texts saying Mumma is very sick and she has been taken to hospital, these messages were from an hour ago, I call mumma's number, no answer, I called everyone who were at home, no one responded, I immediately called my friend to whom I spoke few minutes back, tears flowing and helpless I stand in the railway station, my friend pick the call and I tell him about mumma weeping, i had no information apart from knowing that she was sick, so he told he will go over to my place and let me know what happened, I dropped the call, Immediately my phone rang again and it was my sister, I heard her anxious scarred sobbing voice over the phone, all she old was mom isn't waking up, she is unconscious, Doctor told she had a brain haemorrhage and a surgery was required, I try to console her, I didn't know what to do, I was breaking, but I always had an exterior of being strong,less emotional, so I tell her to take care of mumma, I tell her I'll be home in the morning. I dropped the call, and suddenly the world in front of was blurry, my legs gave up, I dropped on my knees, my head to the ground weeping, It's to her I went for answers in difficult situations and  even now my heart ached to call her and expected for a response in her voice, that moment I knew my only weakness was her, over the years I developed control over my thinking and desires so I always boosted nothing can defeat me cause I knew she was behind me, but now it was helpless. Apart from education my mum was very particular in instilling faith in us, so I turned my face up looking at the sky cried my heart out, my train arrived I just jumped in, my friend bought in all my stuff and made me sit on seat and I know she is trying to console me but my all I was doing was begging god to keep mumma safe.

The train moved, I sat there by the window weeping and praying a thousand things running in my head, mumma was very sick since a few months, I used to sit by her room door in the nights just to be there if she needed me, I hate the snoring sound, but for me her snoring sound was an indication that she was still there with me, even a week before travelling to Kerala I told her I'll cancel the plan and stay back home, but she told me she was fine and slowly showed progress, just because of that I decided to go, otherwise I would have been with her at home, even when I was leaving home since I was getting late for my flight so I left home even without hugging her properly, I last remember her smiling face bidding me bye, only if I had known, I would held her longer and stayed back with her.

I pray and beg god not to betray me, the prayer beats in my hand, no words just silent sobs, I kept begging god, cause when I was in 9th std and was in a Boarding school, when I called home I was told mom was a little sick, since it was the feast of a particular saint we had 9 days of continuous prayer, it's a belief that if Pray for any intention during these 9 days it will be fulfilled, so the little brain of mine had made a plan with God, my intention for all 9 days was to go my mum Safe and happy, I didn't stop it there, I prayed saying if mumma has to die make sure you take me also along but a minute before than her, cause I can never live without her around, and I strongly believed in that prayer, after that 3-4 times mom was admitted to the hospital with serious condition, but she always came back strong, and it was this prayer I kept repeating and reminding to God, so even this time I wanted God to keep up to the deal, it's me before her or don't take her at all, I didn't move from my seat, I sat the entire time awake.

Two of my best friends, they're are the pillars of my broken heart, they were at the hospital along with my other siblings, they kept calling me to make sure I was fine and kept updating me, they tried to hide the actual truth, so that I would reach home safe, it was like they had read my mind, cause I had decided while i am on the train I get any news about mom, I am not going home, I am just jumping off the moving train, but these guys like the Angel god sent made sure I kept up to my sanity, in between I had to talk to my sisters and brother Abroad, at least I am in the reach, in few hours I'll be home, but it's not the same for them, so I had to talk to them clearly, so acting strong I consoled them, while I was just breaking a little bit more.