You can't save me

Chapter Eight: Papa....?

Remus opens his eyes as he hears a light knock on the door even if it was really quiet his wolf hearing allowed him to hear small noises such as a light knock on the door, at times though this can become very annoying.

"What..." said Remus as he sounded very much annoyed considering he was being woken at almost 3 in the morning.

"N−Never mind...." said Harry very timidly as he was about to walk away the door swung open and Remus could clearly see Harry.

"Harry, are you okay? What are you doing up so late....?" asked Remus with a very calm and gentle voice which reminded Harry of Bill and he liked the way it calmed him down.

"N−No it's f−f−fine I'm on m−my way to b−bed." stuttered Harry as he was about to walk away, Remus got up and began to walk towards Harry causing him to shake a little.

"It's okay Harry, why don't you come in." said Remus gesturing Harry to walk into his room.

Remus sat down in the center of him bed as Harry stood there near the edge of the bed shaking a lot more by now.

"You can sit down Harry...." said Remus as he now noticed Harry shaking.

"It's f−fine, I'm s−s−sorry I w−woke you..." said Harry really quietly but Remus still managed to hear him.

"Harry.... Is there something troubling you? Would you like to talk cub?" said Remus really calming and gently .

Maybe it was his gentle soothing voice that convinced Harry or maybe it was the nickname cub that Remus gave him or maybe it was the fact that Remus already knew that something was bothering him {Though he wasn't doing a very good job of hiding it} and Harry just broke down and started to cry, covering his face with both hands. Remus stood up and hugged Harry saying soothing words in his ear to attempt to calm him down and after 10 minutes Harry's cries went to quiet sniffles as Remus lead Harry and sat him down on his bed and he sat down right beside Harry.

"What's wrong cub...? You can talk to me...." said Remus as he rubbed Harry's back in soothing circles.

Harry couldn't hold it back everything poured out of him, he told Remus about how sad he has been feeling ever since Sirius's death and he told Remus about the Dursleys and how they abused him and how stressed he was being the boy who lived and Harry just let everything pour out of him like it did with Bill. Remus didn't say anything, he just sat there listening and waited until Harry was calmed down and just continued to rub Harry's back while every now and then when Harry just couldn't talk or find the words he would tell Harry "It's okay, just let it out.".

"I−I'm s−s−sorry that I d−d−didn't talk to you before...I was sc−scared..." said Harry as he began to wipe away the tears on his face.

"It's fine cub really....Have you talk to anyone at all about this stuff? It's okay if you have....it doesn't matter if you didn't talk to me first and honestly it's okay if I'm the last one." said Remus calmly.

"I−I− I talked to Fr−Fred and G−George first then I talked to R−Ron and then I talked to B−Bill earlier and he said I should talk to y−you...." said Harry weakly as his voice has now become dry from so much crying.

"Harry cub....Can you please roll up the sleeves to your hoodie...?" asked Remus calmly as he continued to rub Harry's back.

Harry shook his head no very vigorously as his memories of the Dursleys came back to him and the tears came flowing out of his eyes once again and his chest became tight and he felt like he couldn't breath which caused him to gasp for air .

"Cub, you need to calm down and breath..." said Remus calmly but Harry still couldn't calm down and he continued to gasp for air, more tears fell out of his eyes as Remus rubbed his back and started a breathing rhythm as Harry began to follow the rhythm his breathing began to even out.

"That's it cub, keep breathing." said Remus gently as he continued to rub Harry's back.

"I−I−I'm r−r−really s−sorry..." stuttered Harry as he slowly rolled up the sleeves to Fred's hoodie to reveal bloody bandages on both of his wrist, his eyes fell to the ground as he was scared to make eye contact with his godfather that he wanted so bad to call dad.

Remus saw the bloody bandages as he could see Harry trembling and his eyes were on the ground finding it much more interesting, Remus began to unwrap the bandages to reveal about ten to fifthteen cuts on each wrist and one really deep cut on his left wrist that looked brand new.

"Oh Harry, I'm not mad...I just wish to know why...? asked Remus calmly.

"The muggles....they would h−h−hurt me so bad and they made me feel like I always do something wrong pa−papa and I felt that I needed to punish myself for being bad..." said Harry sadly as Remus began to rebandage Harry's wrist .

"I'm not upset cub....but I need you to try and stop...I already lost Sirius, I can't lose you too....and I need you to try and eat more and if you ever want to talk, I'm always here cub and if you want to call me papa, I don't mind." said Remus in his usual calm and gentle voice.

"I'll t−try papa....I promise I really will try....b−but I r−really miss d−dad..." said Harry sadly as he went closer to Remus with grabby hands and Remus got the hint and held his arms open for Harry to crawl into as Harry then crawled into Remus arms his hid his face in Remus chest and the two started to hug.

"I know cub....I miss him too..." said Remus sadly as his memories of Sirius came to him, if they were good or bad, they were with him and he loved being with him. Remus then started to noticed it was almost five in the morning and Harry was growing tired and was beginning to fall asleep.

"Hey cub, I think you should get some sleep, I'll go walk you to your room." said Remus quietly but as he was about to get up Harry tighten his grip around Remus.

"C−Can I s−sleep with you papa...please?"asked Harry timidly he then loosen his grip around Remus and was about to get up but was stopped.

"Of course you can sleep with me cub." said Remus with a small smile on his face.

Remus laid down in the center on his bed and Harry cuddled into Remus, while Remus has his arms wrapped around Harry, Harry hid his face in Remus chest and in under five minutes there were light snores coming from Harry and shortly after Remus fell back to sleep with Harry in his arms.

Word count: 1229