"It'll be our secret" (Camren Fanfiction)

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There comes  a time in your life when all sweet things go sour, when everything that once meant so much to you all crumbles, Burns, and you're left with nothing all over again. When someone that meant so much to you moves on without you, and you don't know how to cope. When the person you love more than life itself no longer loves you, but loves someone else instead.

we've all been through it once or twice in our life time, and at the moment its the worst pain in the entire world, you don't know if you can go on a day without them, you don't want to go on. Gosh, you can barely get out of bed. It feels like your entire world exploded and no matter what you do to occupy yourself, theres a never ending pain. 

you either push it all aside and ignore all feelings, or you fight through it. You have to fight through it, don't waste your time or tears on someone that cant even shed a single tear for you.

This is something I had to deal with a lot in my life time, Im basically an expert on the topic now, Truthfully, its hard for me to cope. When I fall in love I fall HARD. I have this wall up that blocks me from getting hurt, but as soon as I let them fall down thats when I get stabbed in my heart. 

But its all a part of growing up, teenage years suck. But you're never alone. Theres nothing so bad that you cant get through within time. Take a few weeks, months, heck take a few years to work on healing your heart and mind. But you have to stay for the fight, don't let them win. Love yourself, no one can do it for you.

That's how my heart felt. Completely shattered.  I wish I knew all of this sooner. 

~

I heard the faint beeping of the heart monitor, the air was thick due to a rather hot day here in Miami, the room had to be over one hundred degrees but I didn't care. There was no way I was leaving her side, not after what had happened. Ill never forgive myself if she doesn't make it, she has to make it. This is all my fault. 

"please don't die on me"  I lightly kissed her forehead. 

This girl is my entire world, if I lose her I have nothing left to live for.. And that's a fact.

~SIX WEEKS EARLIER~

I didn't talk to anybody much after school let out, Dinah, Ally and Normani all left to visit friends or families out of the country, so all I had was Sophie and Lauren.

I didn't see Lauren much, just a couple times when she snuck in my window or I snuck out to see her, my parents would NOT let me hangout with Lauren Jauregui if they found out we were friends. 

They heard way too may stories about her. And Id be kicked out living on the streets if they ever found out I was having a sexual relationship with her. Thats why I can never tell them not ever. They'd never accept me for being gay, especially gay for Lauren.

But I got this high, this adrenaline when I snuck out to see her, or when we kissed and fooled around, it was nothing serious but it was honestly so exhilarating.

That is exactly what Im doing tonight, sneaking out.  She had invited me to go to some party with her which is rather strange for Lauren because she hates being seen with me out in public, she was serious about keeping out friendship a secret.

I stood in front of my closet for a few minutes and scanned through the racks of clothes I owned. 

My skirts and bows wont cut it tonight, I want to look good not only for Lauren's eyes, but because Im going to be seen with her, I wanted to help her image any way that I could. If Lauren was seen with the Nerdy, loser Camila then shed be made fun of which ultimately would make her never talk to me again.