Deep inside darkness

Live without being scared if we think its a mistake

I woke up I was infront of the door of sleep walking, i don't know why or how I got here.

I instantly quickly try to get inside again but the door was lock shut. After a while of pulling I sit in front the door and that is when I finally notice a voice, its your best friend and various voices blending against each other.

— Common you can do it stay with us— Her voice sounded cracking while I heard noises of wheels running furiously on tiles then a door shutting close.

After that there was silence and clashing of utensils so I decided to walk away for a while to see if you were still in your nightmare, but you weren't, I kept seeing memories that seemed buried in the past. 

I finally understood completely the difference between you and me is and why I cant get away from you no matter what.Why I appeared so suddendly...

I realized that the subconscious only comes when the purity of innocence is starting to wither we don't have thoughts that go against our actions until we notice that things can go wrong. That is why we hear the saying that little kids always tell the truth, because their subconscious and their conscious is one and the same pure sense  of mentality.

You were totally pure and optimistic for a long time, until that one night...

Youre friends did something that was very wrong they were bullying one girl in your class that you were also friends with, but they told you they were just playing with her and your naive self believed it, they used you and manipulated you into doing everything they wanted because they said you're "my best friend" you believed it all. 

Until one day at school that girl came to you and asked you to come with her to the principals office.

— Tell her what your friends do— She said silently as you both sat down  with the principal.

—What do you mean? when they tease you?— You said softly

—Yes...—

Then you confessed everything not really knowing what was wrong with any of that because of how much they brain washed you. The principal sent you two back to class after a while and hours passed by quickly then you found yourself home.

The phone rang and your parents were still at work so you took the phone.

—Mommy is not home, ill tell mommy you called when she comes home.— You say in a bableish voice.

—Im not calling  for your mom— A serious yet familiar voice sounded— I need to talk to you—He sounded demanding

—Oki what do you wanna talk?—

From there he other side of the phone started slowly sounding eerie even if the voice sounds in a soft tone like he was holding anger deep within. He started questioning why did you  turned them in with the principal and that he got in horrible trouble because of you you were confused and dint understand much why he was so mad.

—Im so sorry,  why are you mad?— You said about to cry, and the other person on the other line took a deep frustrated breath.

—Dont talk to us ever again, you are NOT our friend"— The voice sounded like he was talking with their teeth tightly together then hung up.

That is the moment I started existing, you looked at yourself in the mirror that was in front of you not believing in something for the first time in your life and also for the first time in your life you tried to hold back your tears. It took you nine years to finally lose your very first bit of purenes at trust in the world. But it was too much trust lost at the same time, it left a scar and that little heart of yours...

I hope that someday i can be able to make you take off that band-aid and remember that the cut they did to you stopped bleeding...