Living It

1

"So?"
"So."
"So, I'm dying in a couple of months and I haven't done anything remotely amazing or worth reading about. My funeral isn't half planned yet, I hate virtually every one I come into contact with, my lipstick's almost finished and I still haven't fed the stupid goldfish you bought me. Everything's just-" I yell, frustrated. "Plus, my-"

Lips. Lips on my lips.

Lips feel soft and gentle on my lips. Lips feel oh, so nice. I begin to melt into lip embrace. Lips pulls away.

I move backwards, a little. Making necessary space, a precautionary measure. I doubt it's healthy for my heart to beat this rapidly. I kick the dark stone in front of me in an attempt to look relaxed. But by the throbbing of my toes, I can tell it was actually a rock. A really hard one. I bite my lip, the same one that wasjust touched by the boy before me, as the tears rise in my eyes.

"Was it that good?" his face looks strange. For the first time ever, I can't read what he feels.

"What?" I can't hear. My ears are throbbing too.
"The...kiss"
"Look, I can barely hear you. I just kicked a hard rock with an open toed shoe"
"Okay...."

"I'm leaving!" I try my best to limp away. He grabs my hand. Shouldn't I feel some sort of jolt or shiver run up my spine? Instead, there is a warm sort of feeling that rests around my heart, making me feel hotter than I already do on this sunny afternoon. I sincerely hope this isn't something attributing to my present illness.

"Whoa, hold on there cowboy" I say, pulling my hand away from him.
"I know you're using the rock thing and ironic nicknames to shrug it off. That just happened, E. We just kissed."

"Foot"
"Your foot is fine and you know it"
Exhaling, loudly, I begin what I hope sounds like a strong and dignified monologue when indeed I hope I don't crumple in between with all the weight in my shoulders. "In three months I will only be a picture in a yearbook" I wait. He doesn't move. I hope it sinks in. "I will cease to exist in a matter of weeks. If you of all people do not understand the gravity of this situation, then-"
"For one second. One measly second of the time you have left, let's be happy. And say what you mean. Stop hiding under what's to come". Sometimes I hate how vague he is. "The future is near and it's impending doom had not for once left my train of thought but can we just enjoy this moment? Together?"

"It's bleeding, man" I blink back the tears.
He eyes my bloody toes. "Yeah, we should probably get that checked out"