Living It

2

Laying down in the back seat of his black Honda, I think back to all the years we spent together on this earth. Believing that we were invincible and nothing could tear us apart. How foolish and simple-minded we humans are.

"I will no longer exist in a few months" It's another weight on my back, but saying it out loud will probably help me get used to the truth of the matter.

I'm leaving.

He says nothing. I clear my throat.

"And about the kiss. I felt like I was flying and no one was there to lead me downwards. God, so high. I can't... I've put it the best way I can" The air in the car is thick. He doesn't turn around (for obvious reasons), his eyes trained forward. "There's always a low after a high" I finish.
"E, it's-"
"But, when you pulled away" I start. I've always had a habit of cutting him off. More recently, than ever. It just feels like there isn't enough time left. "I wanted to be that high again. Soaring with you. Forever." I cough. "I'm not so good with words, you know that"
"It's okay. It's fine" He doesn't really sound like he means it. Is anything fine?

"No, I feel like I never say the right things to you. That sucks"

He drives into the parking lot of the hospital, easing his way into an empty space. Pulling the gear into park, he unbuckles his seat belt and turns around. He's crying. The tear stained cheeks and his dark eyes rimmed red, tell me it isn't recent. No, he's been crying.

"You'll no longer exist in a few months" his voice quivers. His strange pubescent voice left around last year when he grew dangerously tall and started growing out a beard. I liked the way it cracked when he got excited or worried, even though everyone made fun of him for it. After the summer of that year, it wasn't just his appearance that changed. He acted different. He just oozed of confidence and maturity. I wondered where my little Derrick had gone. He didn't want to do chores for me anymore and started coming to my house less frequently. But we still remained close. Well, we still are close.

"In three months, E!" Is it possible to feel another person's heart breaking?

I lean forward, and place my hands on his face. I feel my right hand moving up to his face. Almost involuntarily, I wipe the tear dropping from his eye. He sniffs, moving closer.

His hands around my waist, I feel the sudden urge to kiss him.

     I do.

This time around, it isn't awkward and his hands aren't slack around my waist. Tighter, now, stirring unknown feelings in my stomach. He is still gentle and moves his lips slowly against mine. Ah, there are the jolts that are meant to run up my spine. I feel electric.

I pull away, my breathing heavy. What is going on? Lord, what am I doing?

"My foot is bleeding all over your carpet"
"Does it hurt?"
"Stupid question." I say, amused. "The thought of leaving you hurts way more"

Eyes locked. Eyes showing too much for me to handle alone.

I look away.

"We should probably...' he jerks his head towards the hospital building.

"Wise choice" I smile. His smile lights up my whole world. I'm going to miss that.

                                               

                End.