Chapter Warnings: Swearing
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Rurik sighed for the umpteenth time that day as he lazily drifted around the unkempt apartment, watching the dust gently dance around him in the afternoon light filtering in through the grimy windows. Of all the things he imagined the afterlife to be, he never would have expected 'boring' to be the primary descriptor. He couldn't leave the building since he was bound to his place of death, he couldn't touch anything, moving objects required focus that he really couldn't be bothered to muster outside of pranks, and he never had anyone to talk to since most living beings didn't stick around long enough for him to figure out how to communicate with them.
Well, that last one was mostly his fault since he relished scaring everyone shitless that tried to move into his vacant apartment. What could he say; it was his home and he didn't like to share. Having fun with the other tenants wasn't an option either; if the landlord couldn't turn a profit, the building would become condemned and eventually destroyed and he didn't like the idea of haunting a pile of rubble.
A distant thumping could be heard somewhere outside the apartment, but Rurik couldn't really care less what was going on outside his home; what finally drew his attention was the latch turning on the weathered lock. Flipping over in midair, the door slid open in a slow creak that came from years of neglect. He had assumed the realtor had given up finding a new tenant for the apartment as it had been a few months since anyone bothered coming around, yet a black-hooded skeleton with a tattered crimson scarf stood in the doorway hauling a suitcase that was nearly the same size.
The monster nudged the door closed with his foot and dragged the luggage into the living room, leaving a trail on the dusty floor behind him. Releasing the handle with an exhausted huff and flipping on the dingy overhead light, he took in his surroundings with a single red eye light, "This place isn't bad at all; a little dirty, but the furniture looks to be in good condition... " Skimming a holed hand over the faded upholstery of the couch, he sighed before steeling his expression, "I'll make it work."
Rurik watched as the skeleton plopped down on the couch, smirking as the action kicked up a cloud of dust that had the perpetrator coughing and swearing. Served them right for invading his territory.
Once the dust settled, the monster gave one last disgruntled cough before reclining into the cushions and pulling out their phone. They fell silent as they tapped away at the screen, intently focused on whatever they were reading... now that Rurik was paying more attention, they looked kind of cute...
He shook the thought away, chalking it up to promiscuous habits from when he was still alive.
"Ugh, seriously? They all want references...," the skeleton groaned. Curious of the fuss, Rurik hovered behind them to find a job search page with a long list of entry-level positions displayed on the screen. After a couple of minutes of conflicted grumbling and sour faces, they began tapping away at their phone again and sighed, "Whatever, I need the work."
The monster, apparently named Lotus Death, spent the next half hour silently attaching his resume to every job offer on the list before closing out the browser and checking the time. "I should probably call...," he mumbled, tapping over to the contact list that only held a single contact; selecting the name 'mom', he placed the phone to his skull and waited as Rurik hovered nearby.
Lotus perked up, but didn't say anything for a moment before announcing, "Yeah, I'm here. I got here alright and put in for some jobs in the area; now I'm waiting for callbacks." He paused for a couple of seconds, then said, "It isn't bad for the price; I was kind of expecting there to be a hole in the living room or something with how cheap the rent was." The skeleton listened for a moment, then grimaced, "Probably; not like I have a lot of alternatives. Anyways, it doesn't look like anyone's cleaned this place in a long time, but I'm no stranger to cleaning; it should be good once I give the place a thorough scrub down."
Rurik hummed to himself in contemplation; he did like the sound of his house being clean again. Maybe he would wait to scare them out until after they fixed the place up?
"... He did?" the ghost perked up at the note of dread in the skeleton's voice, focusing back in to notice how gaunt their face looked as they carefully asked, "... What'd you tell him?" Lotus released a trembling breath as they listened to the other end, "Did he use his magic?" Rurik wasn't a fan of the one-way conversation, but the person on the other end was so quiet that he wouldn't be able to pick up their voice without phasing directly through the monster's skull to listen in; even if the action went unnoticed by the skeleton, ghosts and electronics didn't mix well and proximity static would drown out the speaker regardless.
"I suppose it's good that I kept everything vague. Hopefully, not having any clues should be enough to make him give up eventually." Silence fell before they continued, "The phone's new, so he won't be able to call or track it. You should probably delete your call history after this in case he comes back to check," more silence, then, "I can't risk a bank account; not yet, at least. I need to stick to cash only so there's no trail... the big struggle will be getting a job where the boss is willing to pay in cash instead of a direct deposit." The monster paused again, then let out a guilty sigh, "Yeah, I probably should; I was in such a rush that I forgot..." A small smile lifted the corners of their mouth, "Thanks mom, I will. Yeah, you too. Bye."
Ending the call, the hooded monster stood from the couch, pocketed his phone, and kneeled by their suitcase. "Guess it's time to see what the area has to offer...," Lotus mumbled, pulling the zipper and rummaging until he pulled out a small metal box. Rurik peeked over the skeleton's shoulder as they fiddled with a four-digit combo and opened the box, revealing a large stack of money inside; they pulled a small stack of bills out and closed it, looking around the apartment with a critical gaze before making their way over to the kitchen. The ghost followed along behind them; his curiosity grew as they lifted off the ground, floating up to a cabinet next to the fridge and placing the box inside the back corner.
Seemingly satisfied with their hiding spot, the monster made their way back to the living room, only stopping momentarily to inspect the lock before opening and shutting the door behind them. The clatter of keys and the click of the deadbolt followed by silence signaled their departure.
Rurik mulled over the scene he had witnessed; it sounded like this Lotus guy ran away and was hiding from someone... oh well, it wasn't like he cared what their problem was. Even if he did find them attractive, the idea of sharing his home smothered any notions of sympathy.
The big question now was how Rurik would pull off the big scare; there was nothing in the fridge, so he couldn't use the contents to write threatening messages on the walls again. Moving the heavier furniture to chase them around the room didn't appeal either since his control was shaky on larger objects. He could screw with the television and lights, though it might take a few tries to actually spook them. Now that he thought about it, they looked light enough to pick up off the ground... or even better, he could wait until they went to sleep, mess with the lights a bit, then drag them out of bed and down the hallway like in that one horror movie.
He smiled in malicious glee as a plan slowly formed. His eye lights fell on the closed suitcase as his grin grew; his first step was to let the little shit know he wasn't alone.
Concentrating on the zipper, it didn't take much to open the bag; lifting the contents into the air, he proceeded to enthusiastically throw everything all over the living room. He was a bit disappointed that the contents mostly consisted of clothes, a few books with complicated-sounding names, and nothing breakable, so he decided to unlock and throw the front door open as well, pleased with how the knob left a slight dent as it slammed into the wall before settling into a slightly ajar position... now all that was left was to wait for his victim to come home and discover his handiwork.
***
Word Count: 1,497
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FellPoth Short Stories and One-Shots
FanfictionIt's time for pairing that puts the 'fun' in dysfunctional. This is a collection of short stories and one-shots centered around the daily life and (mis)adventures of Lotus and Rurik, otherwise known as the FellPoth/Lurik ship. All stories are separ...