Horizon of Time

Chapter 1

(TW: Graphic suicide)

Lola

As I laid in my bed, I thought about all the good times, thinking I'd feel better. It somehow only managed to make me feel worse. My heart was broken. Shattered by the ones I loved most. A single tear trickled down my cheek and my shoulder-length brown hair fluttered into my line of eyesight. I quickly brushed it behind my ears, bothered by the feeling of it on my skin. I looked in the mirror. My hazel eyes that seemed to shift colors nearly everyday were filled with emotion. I gasped and another tear escaped. God every time I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw. My nose was too big, my lips too small, my jaw too short, my eyes too round. It hurt more knowing that when she saw me, she also hated what she saw. She hated me. I broke down into tears yet again and whispered softly "I wish I could start over". I went down stairs and checked to make sure my parents weren't home before going into my bedroom and grabbing the set of razor blades out of my drawer. I set them on the outside of the bathtub before replacing my shirt with the old black tank top I've had for years that now barely fit and plugged the drain on my bathtub. I turned on the faucet and grabbed my notebook out of my room. I ripped out a page and grabbed a pen and headed back into the bathroom. I turned off the water upon seeing the bathtub was now full. Then I wrote my last words.

Dear Mom and Dad,

If you're reading this, that probably means I'm gone and one of you found me. I know you probably think this is your fault. It's not. I don't want you to feel guilty or sad. I'm sorry it had to end like this but I'm not suffering anymore. I love you. Goodbye.

Yours truly, Lola

I sat down in the bathtub, clothes still on and opened the pack of razor blades, carefully taking one out. I clenched my fist so I could see my vein and lowered the edge of the blade to it. I felt a small crack as it broke the thin skin. I felt a sharp pain and began hyperventilating as I slit up my wrist, feeling my blood drain from my body. My heart was pounding and I whimpered, my breath still heavy. Shaking, I slit my other wrist. My vision started fading and I faintly heard my bathroom door open and a man yell "LOLA! LOLA ANSWER ME!!! LO!!" before I drifted away.