I huriedllly put the rice down, cried for help from the neighbors who passed by while ago but since we dont know any first aid, I just accepted it.
I sometimes cry out of dispear and resentment towards my late husband but what can I do it was a choice he had made. Knowing that he have suffered enough I felt sorry but resented him at the same time.
"Did you ever cry?" my grand daughter asked me once.
"I did but what can my tears do" I responded.
I continued living not acknowledging those emotions; sadness the feeling of longing I paint it up all deep down in my heart. I keep running remembering all the child that are still smiling despite having scar on thier heart not having to meet thier father.
The good thing about him is he invested on lands, planted fruit bearing tress. I still have those coffees avocados,and bananas sorrounding our house. The reason why I was able to feed our children is because he was able leave so much as if preparing for his departure. I would like to think that he tried and think it through before taking his. I just resented him that we are not enough, I am not enough for him to keep on living.
I continued my life looking after our children who looks like him especially my second to the last child. There were some suitors who sometimes come to our house and everytime I always say to them "Marriage is done once it should not be number with counts ".
He made me strong enough that I was able to aged with pride of raising my sons and daughters well. In our culture wishing him to visit through a dream is a bad omen so I never dear to. Having to much emotion is not a norm that having endearment is not common. We are a family whom if we make our voice bigger it sounds like were angry.
Being a widower is not easy specially that I have to look after our eight children but its all worth it after seeing how my children had thier own.
🤣😅cresluis😍😍
