If I Could Do You One Right...

Breaking Bread, and Spilling the Beans

~Your P.O.V~

The night has never felt longer. Tamaki has already gone to sleep in my room. Rumi sent a crow to inform his family that he's safe. No thanks to me of course. Now sits only myself and my mother across from me. A look like hers is hard to put into words. Rumi herself is hard to put into words to be fair, and that is almost entirely because of her emotions. I can really only tell the basics; anger, disappointed, and perhaps terror. Her glare was a snarl and a stifled cry all at once. She slouched over looking to her lap thinking over it all, which gave me time to do the same.

It was a long night, and of course I've thought about what I did throughout. I spent all my time alone boiling the tea thinking about it. No blood was spilled but the attempt is cause enough for concern. That's being generous of course. What was essentially an attempt at this strangers life, strikes more than concern, especially for the person who saved the both of us, and happens to be my mother. It hurts in a special kind of way to disappoint her; I'm just about the only shoulder she ever has to lean on. Try as I may, she's never wanted a spouse, which means if I make her cry... then what? I can't comfort her. Her own son can't comfort her. I'd say I feel useless, but a useless thing doesn't try to kill a man.

The night has never felt so long. It felt like I was choking the air was so thin, like being atop the summit of the tallest mountain. It might've been why it was so quiet. There were only so many ways this somber silence could end. As cruel as both were, I'm here because of my cowardice, more cowardice might feel that much worse than whatever's to come.

"How are you-" You began, jumping into the depths, there was a series of scenarios that would have to be endured. The first and most lenient required you to finish that sentence.

"Were you about to ask me how I'm feeling?" And like that, a lot of options are off the table. That was about as bad as the opening lines could have gotten. Now on the back foot I just shrunk. Leaving the rhetorical question untouched, Rumi decided it was time for a pursuit. "Y/n L/n, I know how smart you can be. You can imagine how it feels to watch my pride and joy pull a knife on a man to save their own fucking skin. My son L/n! My little comet!" I could only shrink. She said so much in so few sentences. Despite adopting me, when she came to the orphanage she wanted me to keep my last name, not being entirely sure she could be the mother she said I needed her to be. In essence; using my last name was an admission that she failed me, and it always felt the other way around. Oh, and comet. On the same day she adopted me she saw a comet in the night sky, and she uses it as a nickname for me.

"I'm so very sorry..." If I had a more powerful way of saying that I would have said it. I meant those words far more than I could express.

"You're sorry? L/n if I couldn't accept that as far as I could kick you. You didn't pick pocket someone, you didn't pee in someone's yard, you didn't break someone's stuff, you tried to kill someone! Someone who'd done you no harm and you'd never met before." I hadn't looked up until now, but would quickly regret it seeing the tears finally weld and fall and fall faster as they became more numerous. That said, I don't know which looked louder, the tears and sniffles, or the seething anger in what was essentially the rest of her expression, veins and all.

After being taken aback and allowing Rumi to cry for a little longer, she breaths and calms herself. I do my best to unravel myself, not entirely sure why I tried, but before I could get myself completely unwound, she continued and went for the throat.

"What happened? Where did I go wrong? Y/n I thought I was doing everything I could as your mom, blood related or not. What did I miss?" All I could do was take it. The blow felt like nothing else, for all of her faults, Rumi was a wonderful mother to me. I wouldn't trade her for the world, and yet I can't seem to prove that to her. All my life I've gotten by pretty well, and getting by let me be complacent, and that's gotten me here. The only step I could think of taking now was saying something that in hindsight sounds dumb.

"I was scared... It's not satisfying, but I've never seen or felt a presence like that. Staring death down like that, I had no idea what I was looking at and my body did what it thought would keep me alive. It's all I knew I could do." Having said more in that one mass of bravado I had left, I kept my eyes to the floor or at least anywhere but my mother, even slouching just to keep my gaze to the floor. I have no idea what kind of expression she could have now, and I might like it to stay that way. And that didn't change when I heard the table flip, a series of agitated grunts, and finally a deep breath, all of it being trailed in the sounds of her teary eyes.

"Sit up Y/n." she requested, and I obliged, but still pointed my chin towards where the table once was. Not sure what her angle was I just kept quiet and tried to breath. It burned, and it forced me to feel my heart attempting to both explode and implode when given the chance. Before that chance came, my mother's footsteps began. Footsteps followed by a familiar pair of sandals covering a familiar pair of small feet. They stopped just in front of me, even stepping back once to give space for her to kneel in front of me. Now sitting to about eye level, she takes my jaw in her hand and lifts it. Of course I don't resist and roll with it.

E/c meeting a starry silver, I'm reminded of the kind of woman I live with. She's all over the place, but still holds everything up on her shoulders, including herself. Most notably, her disheveled hair, flushed cheeks, and her thinning frame. The latter was always her excuse for never finding someone. "A dying middle aged woman who's always too busy. Oh, and I have your ass." Is how she puts it. Remembering how few years left on her lease puts me in yet another awkward place this evening.

"I'd hoped you would never have to come face to face with a demon. I never considered how you'd handle one. And honestly, when I was your age I might've done the same thing. It really surprises me how similar we are, even if everyone keeps telling me about it..." She lamented in a kind of defeated tone. " I guess I just hoped you'd be better than me." We sat in silence neither really knowing where to go from here. After a moment of said silence, she sighs "Well before you can be better than me, I should reprimand you. I'd beat the shit out of you but it's so late and that demon really gave me the run around. Just go sleep outside and I'll think about disciplining you later." She closes her eyes and stands up, after which she begins to change and go to her room at the same time. After she slides her door close I immediately hear a thump.

"Out like a light." I say to no one in particular. I turn to the table and go to put it back in place. Soon after I step outside and find a tree. My tree. It was one time the home of the great monkey king, it was once a battle tower, for a while it was the study tree, recently it's been the naughty tree, and tonight it will be the slumbering tree. At least that was the hope.

That was the longest night of my 15 years on this planet. I couldn't get so much as a wink. And little would I know, that it was to be followed by many other long nights of horror that'd only get worse as I had less and less to hold onto.

~{A/n}: That Mina story is going to get updated one day. I have this one-shot I wrote for it that's just been sitting in a book I don't plan to publish, so if I feel like enough people would want it, I might just throw that one-shot in there. It might just get me to finally finish those other two chapters I never got around to. Hell, it might make me play Hollow Knight again for some inspiration. Any-how, I hope this was good, and considering you're seeing this, I probably have another 5 - 8 chapters ready to go. I'd just like to give myself time to get more chapters done before I ghost again or something. Anyway, peace~