Hello, Stranger (Hange Zoë x f!reader)

Part thirteen

You were exhausted by the time you were trundling towards your shared bedroom. The stench of horse had taken a thorough scrubbing to get out of your skin, but it had been worth it. You carried out your first duty as a scout to the tee. You’d gotten through the entirety of the stable, mares, stallions, geldings, and Armin had stayed throughout, even beyond sunset when the cold had set in. He was an easy person to talk to, even with your reluctance to open up. He was a good kid, more quick-witted than you had initially given him credit for. Part of you wondered why he had placed himself somewhere so physically demanding, when his mental capacity could have put him anywhere. You had shrugged it off. If he wanted to tell you, one day he would.

Armin had opened up to you about his experiences in training whilst you’d removed matted hair from a dark mare’s mane. The instructor had head-butted one kid, made another run laps, and constantly reminded the remainder that all they would ever be was titan fodder. You had voiced your concern about his methodse as you worked the final few strands free. Armin was still a kid to you now, he must have been a child when he went through it. The horrors of this world inside the walls waited for no one, you mused. Still, you were grateful beyond words you hadn’t been put through this Shadis’ shouting. He sounded like a nightmare. You probably would have buckled under his onslaught at that age.

Shaking off those thoughts, you hesitated outside Hange’s door. Your towel was still slung over your shoulders, your hair letting loose stray droplets. You stopped as your hand made contact with the cold metal of the doorknob. There were several people inside. Your ear twitched. Levi? Yes, his voice was clearest, irritated as ever. Moblit was there too, mediating between the Captain and Section Commander, and some other man you didn’t recognise. Should you go in? You sighed, moving your hand from the doorknob. You couldn’t interrupt. It sounded important, given the tones and urgency of their voices, and the longer you stood loitering at the door, the more guilty you felt. You were a scout, but not a trusted one. Not yet, at least, you were going to have to comb another hundred or so horses before you were given a smidgen of trust, and being caught eavesdropping wouldn’t help your case.

You ambled further back down the corridor and leant against the cold brick, a shiver racking your body. You could wait for them to finish their business, it couldn’t be much longer now. It would be near midnight at this point. What few soldiers you had seen had gone to their barracks, and frankly you couldn’t blame them. It’d be nice to get to bed in turn yourself. Warm, and with Hange. You flushed. This was getting out of hand, you needed to control your emotions. You’d never had this problem on your own, the warm fuzzy feeling that would run amok if they so much as smiled at you. It was stupid. Be fond of them, protect them by all means, but protect yourself in kind. Get too fond of them and you would get sloppy. Being sloppy would get you killed, by a titan or a human. As close as you got to Hange and Armin, you’d have to hold them at arm’s length, and it hurt. A different kind of pain, no extent of time would close over. You shook off the thought, focusing on the flickering torchlight. Besides, Hange was fixated on titans, and you had the sneaking suspicion they had been for a while and probably would be forever. You were something, but not a titan. You’d just have to stay in the corner.

The door clicked, and you continued to stare at the bricks for another few heartbeats, feigning indifference. Levi made eye contact with you as your gaze drifted, and nodded his acknowledgement. He was officially your superior now. You dipped your head in turn. Moblit emerged speaking to the other man animatedly, gesturing with his hands, who towered over him considerably. Blonde, with a scruffy moustache and beard, you were sure he was taller than anyone you’d met. He stopped to sniff the air, and you flinched. You’d just had a shower, even to your acute senses you smelt more like a strawberry than a person. You opened your mouth slightly to scent him. Human, completely. There was no way could smell you were something else, was there? He turned to you and frowned slightly. Oh. Oh no.

You straightened as he walked closer, his conversation with Moblit forgotten. Did you salute him? Bow? What? That wasn’t part of your welcome speech. He was standing in front of you now, peering at you down his nose. Your stomach dropped. You couldn’t bring yourself to make eye contact. He leant down to sniff once more, just above your shoulder, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t slightly scared. The hell had you signed up for? Were all the scouts as eccentric as Hange? Was there someone here that licked people as well? The man stood back up, quirked a brow at you, then smirked, as if you’d told him something dryly amusing. You released the breath you hadn’t realised you’d been holding.

“C’mon Miche, you know it makes sense!” Hange popped their head out the door, and you shot them a pleading glance. You were stuck between a wall and a man that had just approached you like some bloodhound. Upon realising your situation, Hange bit their lip, fighting back a giggle. They were enjoying this, seeing you pressing yourself up against the wall and silently begging.

“Ah, I see you’ve met my new assistant, Y/N. Y/N, this is Section Commander Miche. Miche, Y/N, Y/N, Miche.”

“P-pleased to meet you, sir.”

“You’re the one from outside of the Walls, aren’t you? You smell like it, you smell like a tree.”

You weren’t quite sure what to make of that, nodding when the words didn’t quite come out.

“Get your asses in bed. We’ve got one more day to plan this thing, and I don’t want anyone falling asleep mid-meeting.” Levi tapped Miche on the back as he passed by, and you were grateful. He for one seemed to actively read your discomfort.

Moblit stretched, yawning in agreement. Hange had him worked to the bone at the best of time, he could use the rest he agreed. Miche cast one final glance at you before following his comrade down the corridor, offering Hange a curt goodnight. They, however, were still grinning at you from the doorway. Only once the other officers had turned the corner did your eyes snap back to your roommate.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, Miche does that to everyone when they join. You should have seen Eren’s face.”

“You’re lucky I’m tired or I’d wipe that smirk off your face,” you grumbled as you walked past Hange, still stifling a chuckle.

“Oh yeah, that reminds me, where did you go last night?”

You hung your uniform over the back of a chair and sighed, flopping back into the duvet.

“Just needed some time to figure things out.”

“I thought you might have run off ” Hange admitted, after a moment of silence. You drew yourself back up to your elbows and blinked at them.

“Why would you think that?”

Their back was turned to you now, they were fiddling in their drawers.

“I don’t know, just, from what I’ve seen, you’ve been able to come and go your whole life. Suddenly being tied down? Having to answer to someone? Having to devote your life to a cause all of a sudden? I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of possibility that it would be too much for you.”

Hange had gathered their clothes on their arm. A pit opened in your stomach. Did they honestly think this wasn’t what you wanted?

“You came into the Walls easily. Why couldn’t you leave as easily? What’s keeling you here, trapped, when you had been able to survive in that freedom for so long?”

“Did you ever think how lonely it was?”

You had stood up now, shuffling closer to them.

“Do you know how alone I was, Hange? Freedom needs meaning. Mine had none. I’d never had to fight for it. It was given to me by blind luck, random chance, whatever you want to call it,” your heart thrummed, “it meant nothing. I know why you fight for it, but, maybe if I have to too, I’ll be able to appreciate it. I’ll earn my freedom with the people that deserve it.”

Your erratic pulse continued as you grabbed Hange’s free hand.

“You, you inspired me. Meeting you changed my life, I would never give that up, and I won’t. So get that out of your head. We both know why I came here, and it wasn’t for my love of architecture,” you forced a smile, and squeezed the hand in yours. They hadn’t tried to pull back. “Now go get cleaned up, I’m gonna get cold in bed on my own.”